Speaking on Behalf of Our Children: Stop Blaming the Victims
As parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to navigate the world safely. We teach them to look both ways before crossing the street, to wear a helmet when riding their bike, and to never talk to strangers. But what do we teach them about protecting themselves from sexual assault? Unfortunately, the conversation about sexual assault often falls short and puts the blame on the victim.
It is time to stop blaming the victim and start speaking on behalf of our children. We need to teach them how to protect themselves from sexual assault and how to speak up if it happens to them or someone they know.
According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. That means that by the time you finish reading this article, approximately 1 or 2 individuals have been sexually assaulted. These numbers are staggering, and we cannot continue to ignore them.
The first step in protecting our children is to have open and honest conversations about sex and consent. Many parents shy away from these topics, but it is crucial that we educate our children on what is acceptable behavior and what is not. This means teaching them that no means no, and that it is always necessary to get explicit permission before engaging in sexual activity.
We also need to teach our children about their bodies and the boundaries that they have the right to set. This can be done through conversations, but also through setting an example. For example, if your child does not want to be hugged, give them a high-five or a wave instead.
Teaching our children about boundaries is also important when it comes to social media. We need to ensure that our children understand that they are in control of their own bodies and that they do not need to share anything they are not comfortable with online. It is important to monitor their social media use and to teach them how to report any inappropriate behavior.
It is also important to teach our children to trust their instincts. If they feel uncomfortable in a situation or with a person, they should remove themselves from that situation or seek help. We need to teach them that it is okay to say no and to stand up for themselves. This includes teaching them that they have the right to say no to family members or other adults if they are uncomfortable with physical contact.
Unfortunately, even with all the best intentions, sexual assault can still happen. In these cases, it is important to teach our children to speak up and seek help. We need to let our children know that if this happens, it is not their fault. We need to teach them that they will be believed and supported.
It is also important to teach our children about resources that are available to them, such as hotlines, therapists, and support groups. We need to ensure that our children know that they do not have to suffer in silence and that there is help available.
One of the biggest roadblocks to stopping sexual assault is victim-blaming. When someone is sexually assaulted, the automatic response is often to ask what they were wearing or if they were drinking. This type of victim-blaming is not only hurtful to the victim but also perpetuates the idea that sexual assault is the victim's fault. It is important to teach our children that sexual assault is never the victim's fault, no matter what the circumstances.
We also need to work to change the language around sexual assault. Stop using words like “rape victim” and instead use “survivor.” This subtle change acknowledges the strength and resilience of someone who has gone through a traumatic experience.
When it comes to speaking on behalf of our children, we also need to speak up when we see or hear victim-blaming. This may mean having difficult conversations with friends or family members. It may mean educating others on the realities of sexual assault and how to support survivors.
It is our responsibility as parents to protect our children from harm. That includes protecting them from sexual assault and teaching them how to protect themselves. We cannot continue to blame the victim and ignore the reality of sexual assault. We need to start having honest conversations about sex and consent. We need to teach our children about boundaries and trusting their instincts. We need to ensure that they know that help is available and that they will be believed.
But most importantly, we need to stop blaming the victim. Sexual assault is never the victim's fault, and we need to start acknowledging that. We need to support survivors and believe their stories. We need to speak up on behalf of our children and work towards a world where sexual assault is no longer a reality.