How to save your relationship? Can it be saved? A more appropriate question to ask yourself is should your relationship be saved? You really have to decide if the relationship is worth saving. Most relationships can be saved if both parties decide that they want to make it work and put in the effort.
It is not enough to stay in a relationship because you are used to it already or remain in a marriage because of your children. To save a relationship and make it work in the long run, you need ongoing commitment and participation by both parties.
Next, you have to zoom in on the problems in a relationship. The biggest problem in how to save a relationship is that people often overlook the root cause of a problem and just focus on solving problems that are on the surface.
For instance, most people think that an affair is a major problem that causes breakups. What most people failed to realize is that the affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem. A deeper problem like a lack of intimacy. Intimacy does not refer to just being physical, but as well as emotional intimacy. Many will think that affair is the problem. Take a closer look, and you will see that the underlying cause of the affair was a lack of intimacy. Remorse and guilt may stop another affair from happening, but it could also lead to other problem like pornography obsession because the root cause of the problem was not dealt with.
You can save your relationship if you start dealing with the core issues rather than the symptoms.
Share your thoughts when you have identified the core problems. This means voicing out your feelings and also listening to your partner's concerns. You need to empathize with your partner's feelings. Hold his/her hand when talking about your problems. This will soothes and assure your partner that you want to reconnect even when emotions are swirling. Bear in mind that when your partner says things that hurt you, it is not their intention to do so. Rather, it is because they want to improve the relationship and merely expressing their thoughts in a straightforward manner.
After you have share your thoughts together and pin point the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve the problems. Make sure you stick to the action plan. If you are not spending enough time together, plan a date night every week. Take turns to think of creative ways to spend your date together. If lack of communication is the problem, make an effort to commit to talk to each other before going to bed every night. Remember to take concrete steps on your action plan.
Finally, saving a relationship is an ongoing process. There will be laughter and tears along the way. You are going to take 2 steps forward only to take 1 step back. Be quick in saying sorry and slow to blame.