Are You Addicted to Selling?

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Are You Addicted to Selling?

By: Simon Reilly

The definition of Motivation in Webster's Dictionary: Motive - the sense of need, desire and fear. Based upon this definition, some sources of motivation can be dysfunctional and that is why it can be so addictive.

Do you want to be motivated by need, desire and fear or your values? Values are the only form of functional inspiration, versus motivation. Values are something that naturally pulls you forward without a lot of effort.

Inspiration fulfills you from the inside out versus motivation tries to fulfill you from the outside in. It is impossible to be fulfilled from the outside in and this is why you can feel empty even though you appear to have reached a goal.

Most people, without being aware of it, are motivated from the outside in.

You hear it all the time, I'll be happy when I; make more money, have more time, close that big case, have a bigger practice, get a new car, go on a holiday, etc ...

And your dysfunctional part of your ego mind says "is this all there is?"

So let's go way back in time ...

To that fateful day ... come on, you remember that day when you were just waking up from that lucid sleep and you were thinking ... what am I going to do today?

And then bang! Then it hits you! Holy s**t! I quit my perfectly good job that my mother told me to keep and became an entrepreneur and started my own business! And you started the first day of the many days of the rest of your life waking up unemployed without a guaranteed pay check. You didn't feel that safe did you?

So without really knowing it, instead of going out and adding 100% value to your clients, your dysfunctional part of your ego mind worked at getting the need of safety met through your clients. You have to go out and sell! You have to pay your mortgage and God help you if you don't.

You ran after any prospect that could fog a mirror and as you approached each one your dysfunctional part of your ego mind was thinking "please buy my product!" Your dysfunctional part of your ego mind was thinking "I really need this sale because I really need to feel safe! Please save me! If I could get this one sale then I would feel good and feel worthy!"

And you recreated this pattern time and time again trying to get the need of safety met through your work and again, outside of yourself.

And to make matters worse, as soon as you reached a goal, which was linked to the need of safety which cannot be met from the outside, your dysfunctional part of your ego mind said "is this all there is"!

And this continuing pattern of emotional highs and lows is what contributed to your probable adrenaline addiction also.

Why are most Advisors Addicted to Selling?

One reason is your dysfunctional part of your ego mind says "is this all there is?" And while you thought that money would bring you a certain level of fulfillment it didn't and this is because money doesn't bring fulfillment which can't be met through outside motivation because it is dysfunctionally based to begin with and likely linked to the need of safety.

Another reason is the need of safety which your dysfunctional part of your ego mind has been trying to meet from the outside in is still not met.

And one is now addicted to the new need of adrenaline.

So the pattern of "is this all there is" will repeat itself. While you are asking this question the motivation will go away and so will the money earning until the bank account goes down and you create another fateful day ... And then bang! Then it hits you! Holy s**t! I quit my perfectly good job and I have to go out and sell!

:-) And then your dysfunctional part of your ego mind thinks ..."That's OK, at least I'm motivated!"

What is the answer?

Inspire yourself through clarifying your values, behaviors, vision, purpose and mission for long lasting fulfillment which is based upon service to others.

Then your dysfunctional part of your ego mind will not be saying:

  • "Is this all there is?"
  • And keeping you busy "SELLING" so that you don't have time to;
    • Create a new Vision for your business
    • Delegate or Eliminate Unprofitable Activities, Clients & Products that you are struggling with to break free
    • Switch to Wealthy Clients
    • Reduce Your Profit Mix to The Most Profitable
    • Carve Out a Niche Market or Two
    • Attract and Hire a Crack Support Team
    • Develop an Internet Niche Marketing System
    • Switch From Free to Fee

The Continuing Addiction to Selling will likely result in more of the following ...

  • Operating without a vision or business plan
  • Fearing change
  • Having to get pumped up to sell
  • Working without the necessary staff
  • Selling too many products
  • Overselling
  • Making too many promises that they fail to deliver on
  • Doing too many favors
  • Feeling unacknowledged for the work that they are doing
  • Having conflict with management, staff and clients
  • Keep hiring the wrong people
  • Having poor customer service
  • Failing to create strategic alliances
  • Failing to ask for referrals
  • Having no succession plan

Some interesting statistics;

"35% of Canadian Advisors are still operating without a written business plan." - The Advisor's Guide to Building Business Volume 3 Published by TD Mutual Funds.

33% of financial advisors are past the age of 60

23% of financial advisors have no succession plan for their business

About The Author

Simon Reilly

Simon and Laura Reilly of Leading Advisor make it simple to turn your business into a leading advsior practice. Visit the Leading Advisor website at


Tiffany 14.12.2009. 01:39

is it possible for a person to be addicted to drug dealing? there is a person close to me that i love that i think might be addicted to selling drugs,
one: is this possible
and two: if it is is their any ways to get through it, like AA meetings but not for alchol. i mean i kno theirs na ca ga and all that.
but is there possible one for this?

i need SERIOUS answers please!

this is a pretty IMPORTANT question to me thank you


Admin 14.12.2009. 01:39

It's possible to be addicted to anything: purging (bulimia), sex, drugs, alcohol, exercise, anything.

If they're dealing, they're probably using, so rehab may help. This may sound dramatic, but try an intervention. They work. Have you ever watched the show intervention? Most of the time, the addicts end up getting help.

Good luck.


KM 31.08.2012. 12:05

What advice can you give to someone who is addicted to selling drugs? He says he can't stand to be "broke". And every time he swears it's the last time but he keeps going back to selling drugs? He does have children too....what kind of counsel can you give to such a person? He likes having me around to steer him in the right direction but frankly he needs to start making wiser decisions for himself.


Admin 31.08.2012. 12:05

they wont listen to your advice, they'll do what they want, the best thing to do is turn them in for drugs and let them sit in jail, thats the only thing thats going to stop them, i would do it for the sake of the kids too cause theyre not living in a healthy environment if druggies are coming around to buy drugs, id call cps on him too


Minnie 24.09.2008. 22:00

Anyone else addicted to selling things on ebay? Sometimes I wander around my house looking for things to sell. I list things nearly every day and I got an e-mail saying I am nearly at my purple star and I got really excited. My next goal is to become a powerseller I would be so so so excited. When I see people bidding on my items I get such a buzz from it - am I a bit sad?


Admin 24.09.2008. 22:00

When I first came across Ebay afew years ago, I quickly became addicted. I sold all my old clothes and shoes and would literally search the house for things to sell! I then started my own business selling on Ebay - I am now a powerseller and am currently having my own Website created.


pmuzzy58 21.02.2013. 11:16

Knowing the risk of addiction to oxycodone, should teenagers be given this medication? A friend of mine and I were discussing the recent deaths of a few celebrities. We looked online to see how many have passed before their time from drug addiction and alcoholism. I was stunned to find out how may recently have died and most of them were from a prescription addiction to oxycodone or oxycontin. A friend's teen had surgery lately and I warned the mother to ask for another pain killer because of knowing the rate of addiction to oxycodone. She said that she wasn't concerned and that her son would be all right. I relate my personal family history of drug addiction.

One of my in-laws is a heavy drug addict and sells prescription drug to feed their habit. This person held a very good paying job just 7 years ago. They had surgery and prescribed oxycodone. They fell into addiction. They live on disability making a quarter of what they made while working. They spent 75% on drugs and sell drugs. They never were arrested in their life and now have a criminal record for selling drugs. We have tried countless times to intervene but they don't want help. I'm afraid one night that we'll get a call that this person is deceased.

When will the government wake up and take this legal killer off the market? Should a doctor give a young teen this medication? Thanks for any help.


Admin 21.02.2013. 11:16

Oxycodone is a narcotic, which can lead to addiction and abuse. Personally, I never became addicted to the prescription medication after my surgery. Addiction to the medication differs among people. I believe the medication is helpful because it takes away the post-surgery pain. As for the dramatic difference in personality, maybe you are right that the medication should be ceased. However, I think the best way to prevent deaths from drug abuse is to inform others (maybe doctors or a helpline) that someone you know is subjecting themselves to an unsafe environment. If you are really afraid they will die from self-medication, the best you can do for them is to get them the professional help that they cannot make the mental decision for themselves.


billyguitarfx 04.10.2007. 17:01

Is anyone else addicted to the Poppy Seed doghnut rolls from Fatz Cafe? Or know how to make them? Is anyone else addicted to the Poppy Seed doghnut rolls from Fatz Cafe? Or know how to make them? I had some the other day and they are all I can think about.


Admin 04.10.2007. 17:01

We have a Fatz cafe here in S.C., but I've never eaten there. If you go to your browser bar & type in "Fatz Cafe poppy seed roll doughnuts" & a few links will be available for you to click on with the info you want. You can order the doughnuts online. The next time you eat at the Fatz Cafe, look around & see if they sell recipe books there.


Miss F.A.T. 15.10.2009. 03:42

How much money should I ask for when selling a real Louis Vuitton purse? I might be selling my real Louis Vuitton handbag I never use on KSL.

For those of you who don't know, KSL is a Utah-based website for buyers looking for a good deal.

What is a reasonable asking price?

Louis Vuitton purses can reach prices of $2,000.00 but I know I won't get that much.

Miss F.A.T.

Admin 15.10.2009. 03:42

You can possibly sell a genuine Louis Vuitton purse (with the tags/certificates, dust bag & original box) for more than what you paid for it or more than the origial price due to the price increases on LV bags. The same holds true if your bag is one that is discontinued from Of course your bag must be in good condition provided that there are no stains or water marks on the bag or the vachetta leather. The lighter the leather on the vachetta the more you can possibly sell it for becuase the more a LV is carried out in the sun, the darker the leather tans & some prefer a light colored patina (tan) on the leather than the darker shades of tan & brown. How much did you pay for your LV? Check the LouisVuitton (official site) & try to find your exact bag & see what it's going for now. Louis Vuittons NEVER go on sale & websites offering LV's for cheaper are actually selling fake or replica bags that are made out of similar materials. You could get in alot of trouble selling a replica or fake LV as a real one so I'm trusting that you have a real one.

If you have a picture of your bag you may want to join the purse forum (it's free) & ask this same question on their along with posting pics of your bag. You will find answers & even a potential buyer maybe on there. I'm a memeber & that site is addicting! The women in the Louis Vuitton chat threads will be able to give you a good estimate if they saw your bag. Also, (I just discovered this site) you can go to this website; $ sell your bag on here!It's a site that sells & will let you sell authentic designer goods like LV handbags, ect, ect! You can look at other LV bags that are being sold on there to determine what yours could go for!

I bought mine from the official to ensure that my new LV was genuine (there are no officially liscensed LV stores near me but alot of fake bags going around). I saved my money up to get it & it was worth every dollar to me! I love my LV & don't plan on selling it but passing it down (yes the quality is that good) to my great neice someday. I always walk a lil' bit taller when sporting my genuine LV for some reason (maybe because it's such a classy bag & makes me feel classy). You may change your mind about selling because I know lots of ppl who have sold their bags & then regretted it later on!


Marcy Love 04.12.2012. 05:07

How to convince my friend not to run away? I know this is long but I am begging you to please take the time to read and answer. Thank you SO much.

She's a 15 year old girl and she's one of my best friends. She just told me about her plan today. By June of next summer she'll be 16 (birthday is in early may) and she'll be doing a program at a college she wants to attend and she'll drive out by herself and stay in Florida with her grandma for two weeks. Once that 2 weeks is up she's going to ditch the car and take off to a different state. That's as far as she told me today which I guess is just her basic plan. I left out a few details, but those don't really matter at the moment.
I really want her to stay, I cant stand the thought of her getting addicted to drugs, selling herself to men, and/or going to juvie. I don't know what to say to her without her getting mad or not wanting to talk to me. So I'm just trying to get advice on how I can keep her sane and from running away.
MY plan so far is of course to ask on her (YA) and next I'm going to call my 'trusted adult' (my grandma) and have a long talk with her, I think my grandma will be able to help because her teenage life really relates to my friend's life. Next I'm going to call a teenage runaway hotline and see if they can help me out. Then, I'll talk to her. If all else fails I'm debating on whether I should send her parents a strongly worded letter. Just about how my friend is feeling and about what I think she might be up to.
So anyway PLEASE HELP! I want my friend to be safe and I want to help her :(
I also did find out that her parents are being abusive. I don't know how to help her with this!

Marcy Love

Admin 04.12.2012. 05:07

This probably isnt the answer your looking for but ehh, ima still try and help out. I read through the whole thing and i think talking to you grandma is a good idea given their childhood is similiar. Some other things, could be obviously to talk to her. I suggest you tell her how you feel, show her everythin you did to try and get her to stay, it will show her SOMEONE DOES care about her. Tell her in a nice way that running away from your problems wont make them go away. Tell her to confront her problems instead of running away in fear. Running away from these kind o issues i like playing hide and seek. Its eventually gonna find you, its better to deal with it first to get it out of the way, you know what i mean? Say she has a purpose for staying. You can like put together a whole bunch of her feiends and family and you can each tell her tht its not worth it and your all gonna miss her. Or you could secretly drag her to a support group, you know they have that kind of stuff. Tell her a random stranger cares wnough to spend half an hour reading and writing for her. Her life is so PRECIOUS. Please tell her not to throw it away. Even though it seems nobody understands
what shes going through A LOT of people do understand, its true. Well good luck(:


mspicer0005 09.04.2007. 01:58

What are the best items to sell on ebay for a beginning seller? I want to try to work part time selling on ebay. Does anyone that does this have any ideas for a beginner?


Admin 09.04.2007. 01:58

Hi ? I am an established seller on eBay. eBay has been my full time job for 4 years, and I have sold over 12,000 items.

Many books on eBay selling tell you what days and times to post your listings. In my experience, anything can sell at any time. I list 10 new items every day. I have sales every day. I have store inventory sales, and I get best offers every day. Even holidays. Even in the middle of the night while I am sleeping.

If you offer international shipping, people around the world can bid on or buy your items even while you sleep. There are bidders and buyers in every time zone around the world.

I don?t know where the information about ?best time to list? is coming from. I sell 75% of my items on auction within 7 days, and the remaining 25 % is sold through store inventory at a fixed price or by best offer within 30 days. I must be doing something right.

I have not been able to identify any patterns on buying habits. I just keep listing, and the items keep selling. I have sold Christmas items in July, shorts in February, bathing suits in December, and cashmere sweaters in June.

Don?t overlook holidays. Think about it ? not everyone is with family and friends on holidays. Businesses are closed and there is nothing to do. Some folks are at home alone, or at work with nothing to do, goofing around on the computer. They may surf over to eBay for a look. I sell just as much on Christmas, New Year?s, and Thanksgiving as I do on any other day. Some people are just plain addicted to eBay and will compulsively shop every day if given the chance. Provide items for them to buy!

Please email me directly if you have specific questions and I can share more information with you.



Ricky 17.12.2010. 05:06

Is it better to be addicted to heroin or to methadone? Methadone is often given to heroin addicts (methadone maintenance treatment) to reduce or completely eliminate heroin addiction and cravings. Usually it works. Problem is, the users often end up addicted to methadone, and, with severe withdrawal symptoms, usually STAY addicted to methadone. I want to know why it is better to be addicted to methadone than heroin.
"whatever works for you dude!" - Congratulations! You've just given the most pointless answer in the history of this website.


Admin 17.12.2010. 05:06

The purity and amount of methadone is controlled. Therefore, the risk of accidental overdose is minimal at best. With heroin, the purity and type of heroin varies based on the source (such as brown heroin, white China, and black tar). Also, there is the possibility that impurities might be introduced into the heroin that can damage the blood vessels or the body. But regardless of the impurities, the heroin addict will eventually damage his blood vessels from injecting the heroin.

Another benefit to methadone is the greatly reduced risk of contracting diseases from sharing needles (HIV and Hepatitis C specifically).

Heroin is illegal. Therefore, the user runs the risk of felony convictions for possession and purchasing it. With methadone, this problem is removed.

Lastly, heroin addiction is an extremely expensive habit. Most users have to resort to prostitution, pimping, selling, trafficking, and theft in order to earn enough money to purchase the heroin. In contrast, quite frequently, methadone users are able to work normal jobs and somewhat assimilate into society.


zeroisjdm 02.03.2010. 02:30

How do people openly sell drugs to their friends on the TV show Intervention? I just watch this kid sell multiple people roxy pills on TV, none of them had blurred faces. Are people stupid or what...I understand its a documentary and A&E wont report them, but you dont think anyone in their town watches TV? Let me know what you think.


Admin 02.03.2010. 02:30

Honestly drug dealers within their community are known by the members of the community they reside in and most people won't 'snitch' nor associate with them. The ones who do associate with them know exactly what they're getting into therefore no one can truly impose their belief that they should avoid the DD. Also it's most likely that once their faces are seen on tv, more addicts and consumers of the drugs will come by meaning more profit. Just my two cents.


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