Stress and Depression are Killing Us!

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Stress and Depression are Killing Us!

By: Paul Shearstone

A short generation ago, families could set their watch by the time the father got home from work each day. My dad always walked through the front door at precisely 6 PM and supper was served at 6:10. We'd all sit around the table discussing the events of the day and then go out on the street to spend time with the neighbors when the kitchen chores were done.

On hot summer nights my parents would sit on the veranda with a cool soft drink and spray the kids with a hose as we darted about the front lawn. Life was simple then - but not anymore!

Who among us has not felt a little betrayed by George Jetson's vision of what the future was 'supposed' to be? We all know the Jetsons was just a cartoon but it did entice us into believing the workday of the future would only be a few hours, sitting in a comfy chair, pushing a couple buttons, while the lovely-wife got even lovelier, spending most of her time at the beauty salon. He lied to us!

The sad reality is the future we live in today is the exact opposite of Mr Jetson's. Fathers work harder, longer and with more responsibilities and stress than any generation in all of history. Mothers have little time to get lovelier because they're trying to balance the needs of the children along with a full-time job.

Most families don't sit around the dinner table anymore because they're all on different schedules, stressed to the teeth, just trying to keep up with this generation's pace of life.

Is it any wonder then, it's not uncommon anymore to see near epidemic numbers of people succumbing to stress related illnesses? Current studies in Canada and the USA purport one in four people in North America are 'currently' suffering from some form of Chronic Fatigue or Chronic Depression. They also predict that eight out of ten people in the current generation and the one to follow, will fall victim to chronic illnesses like these, in their lifetime. Tragically too, many of them will never recover!

The financial impact from stress related illnesses is alleged to be in the Billions of Dollars with devastating effects on business and healthcare costs. But there is still a larger issue for chronic fatigue or depression sufferers. The social safety nets aren't there. In fact, chronic depression is still politically and socially misunderstood and society has very little empathy-appetite for it.

For many, someone with CFS [Chronic Fatigue Syndrome] or Chronic Stress-Related Depression, is simply a lazy malingerer. They are not to be believed or coddled. " Suck it up soldier! And get back to work! " All they need is a kick in the pants. Right?....WRONG!

I can tell you from my own experience that those who fall victim to diseases like these, are Not Faking it! They are Not Malingerers! They Don't need a Kick in the Pants, but they Do need understanding, the right treatment and our help.

How do I know? In 1991 I fell victim to CFS at a time when the medical profession had no idea what it was or how to treat it. Back then they called it the Yuppie Flu. I had it for nine excruciating months and it nearly devastated me and my family.

In the last couple of decades, too many overworked and stressed out people are falling victim to what's now referred to as CFIDS [Chronic Fatigue Immune Deficiency Syndromes]. These diseases are motivated by stress but are also virally motivated like in my case where I was eventually diagnosed with the Epstein Bar Virus.

Substantial advancements have been made since the 90's but what troubles me is that sufferers still endure social indignities associated with idlers and are often judged by others and the companies they work for as phonies. Stigmas like these only exacerbate the already daunting challenge sufferers face should they, in fact, ever make a full recovery.

For that reason [and at the risk of appearing self promoting] I wrote a book entitled, " Until You've Walked the Path " . I could go on about it but instead I'll just provide some of what's written on the back cover.

[Back Cover]

THE BATTLE BACK TO HEALTH from CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME or CHRONIC DEPRESSION ... CAN BE WON! ... But not without HOPE and not without HELP!

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

Experience in vivid detail the real-life challenges of a young family man who became stricken in 1991 by a mysterious illness best known at the time as the 'Yuppie Flu'. A straight-commissioned salesman with no medical benefits and a wife and child to feed, Failure for him was never an option.

Witness first hand the day-to-day struggles he endured that included long bouts of depression, excruciating muscle pain and exhaustion that caused him to sleep 24 to 48 hours at a time.

Read about how, throughout his ordeal, he managed to maintain Hope and a Positive Attitude that in the end were the catalysts required in finding new ways to battle a disease that in the early 90's society alleged was no disease at all.

Rejoice with him when you discover he did eventually triumph over his illness and went on to accomplish something nearly everyone - at times even he - believed impossible!

This book is a no-nonsense layman's real-life look at how sufferers are affected by CFIDS and more importantly, steps they or caregivers could and should take to ensure speedy recovery.

People suffering CFIDS as well as caregivers will benefit from the logical and pragmatic information the author shares based on his own debilitating experience with the disease.

The advice is credible, insightful and thought provoking with an unfailing dedication to one critical message: " There IS HOPE for YOU or the one you HOPE to HELP! "

I won't shy away from the fact that by writing the book I hoped to make it a best seller. On the other hand, I know there are too many sufferers out there who need to better understand what's going on with their health and are desperately looking for a proven formula or strategy to help them get better.

For more information regarding Until You've Walked the Path and/or ways to purchase it before it hits the major book stores, please send an email to paulshearstone@rogers.com.

About The Author

Paul Shearstone aka The 'Pragmatic Persuasionist' is one of North America's foremost experts on Sales and Persuasion. An International Keynote Speaker, Author, Writer, Motivation, Corporate Ethics, / Time & Stress Management, Recruiting Specialist, Paul enlightens and challenges audiences as he informs, motivates and entertains. To comment on this article or to book the Pragmatic Persuasionist for your next successful event we invite to contact Paul Shearstone directly @ 416-728-5556 or 1-866-855-4590 www.success150.com or paul@success150.com.

Comments

Jimmy 27.03.2013. 04:48

How come nothing natural is sold by pharmaceutical companies? I would really like to try some herbal alternatives in managing my anxiety and depression.
But my physicist cant prescribe it because the pharmacy doesn't have that. I get health coverage from my work that covers prescriptions, so im taking anti depressants and Valium. Which helps, but I cant stand the side effects.

So if I were to look for herbal medicines, I would have to pay for it and do it all on my own as im sure my Pdoc wouldn't want to hear if it was working well for me. And would want me back on anti depressants so he can make a few more bucks.

But im thinking of doing it anyway.. Why cant they still be greedy and suck money out of us. But with less harmful medications. Is it a way to kill us as well?
When you guys say herbal medicine doesnt work for everyone, true. But how come doctors NEVER prescribe them. But yes take them at home.

Jimmy

Admin 27.03.2013. 04:48

Well they don't necessarily wanna kill us just keep us sick & on drugs long term.

U want to be very careful w/any psychotropic drugs like the ones ur taking as they're very dangerous & can cause permanent brain damage 2neurotransmitter receptor sites. Anti-psychotics can even cause brain shrinkage.

Read the books of Dr Peter Breggin on how dangerous they r & get some other suggestions http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_11?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=peter+breggin&sprefix=peter+bregg%2Caps%2C313 read how studies found there were more suicides & exacerbated depression in depressed people taking antidepressants than in depressed people taking NOTHING

Drug companies r very powerful/wealthy. They court the drs in med school giving them perks & aid & when drs,they can get things like trips, computer programs & samples etc by the drug companies if they prescribe their drugs over other drugs.

Drs r very busy & usually learn little 2nothing about nutrition/alternative health in med school & r kept so busy w/all the hmos/paperwork that they have little free time 2read, when they do read its in the medical library & w/journals like new England journal of medicine etc.

These magazines r full (over 3/4th full of high priced, full color ads of drugs info. What do u suppose happens, Jimmy,when the magazine posts studies of safe,nontoxic, cheap natural cures/foods that anyone could pick or grow free/cheap &get better with? The drug companies get mad & threaten 2pull out their advertising dollars which is how the magazine pays their billsThey have done this & folded magazines &this scares the 1s who still rely on the ads so they don't do the same
So many of the studies being done never get into the places where doctors r doing most of their reading/education. thus the average doctor knows less than the common person w/interest in herbs or diet.

Since they don't know were never taught & don't believe in natural meds they always down it as useless.Plus they arent allowed 2suggest anything not on the FDA approved list or they risk losing their medical licenses.

But actually though it does cost us its better this way as what if doctors had to prescribe something..would be much harder 2take what u wanted/believed in if ur doctor didnt agree or wouldnt prescribe it so this way we can take health into our own hands

see this chart

http://home.roadrunner.com/~thadson/savelife/schulze/crusade/07difference.htm

almost anything can be healed w/100% raw vegan diet & that can be cheaper than buying the SAD diet if thats the way u want 2go. green smoothies-excellent4health-can use a little fruit & wild safe & free greens found anywhere like plantain which grows in many lawns/parks or dandelion greens, lamb's quarter fr/weeding a garden or berry leaves, daisies leaves, burdock, cleavers or try growing prolific lemon balm which is tasty & right outside the door in a big container. Some people Ive seen on YouTube even juice fresh (unsprayed) grass & use like wheat grass & that is free 4all

But I suggest taking fish oil or omega three fats like in chia seeds (salba) about 4000 to 7000 mg as this HAS helped depression, anxiety & over time (give it at least a year) can reverse chemical imbalances.U also want 2stop bad fats which affect the brain by eating little2no trans fats, hydrogenated fats(margarine/in mayo) & most saturated animal fats-use vegan substitutes as well as lesson unsaturated fats. Use flax seed oil &small amounts EV olive oil some like coconut oil 4 high temperatures/taste.

Heres a # of suggestions Click on depression,stress reduction, anxiety then scroll down reading each modalities *herbs,. diet, massage, chiropractic, etc) 4natural help.

http://holisticonline.com/Remedies/Health_Problems.htm

Also read these books

1 feeling good
2 7 weeks to emotional healing
3 change your brain change your life
4 happy for no reason
5 excuse me your life is waiting

change all your negative thoughts 2positive thoughts & affirmations w/practice & awareness of ur thoughts-Trying 2make them not negative but positive as what u think of grows- dont say Im not stressed out in reversing a Im so stressed out thought --say instead something like Im really calm or I can handle this easily avoid word not-not i am not stressed the subconsciousness reads as I am stressed as it discounts the not rather say Im happy not I'm not depressed.

use all 3 tenses
I Jimmy am happy
u Jimmy are so happy
he, jimmy is happy

especially say when drowsy like 1st thing when u get up & when u go to bed Adding it w/EFT may make more effective..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSpITM08X3I\

I suggest u do it yourself as effective & is more organic 2the body while drugs are as foreign invaders.
Making 1s own herbal tinctures saves up to 90%of the cost-u want organic tinctures if taking herbs as capsules arent effective-check herballegacy see #4 here

Admin

Rachel 19.08.2009. 02:35

How do I get myself to stop thinking suicidal? Every day I consider killing myself. Not that I want to but it aways floats across my mind. I've also found myself wishing and praying to die in my sleep. I mainly feel like that at night for some reason. Help me stop thinking like this! Please! I don't wanna kill myself!

Rachel

Admin 19.08.2009. 02:35

I was very suicidal not too long ago, saw no meaning in life and it was a waste of time until I found my answer. I want to help you. You are important, please realize that. Do not, please dont kill yourself, at least for my sake. For god's sake, do not kill yourself.


Jesus loves you, he died for you and your sins. He suffered mockery, spat upon, and he was looked down upon, by religious leaders and then crucified him.

Jesus went out into the woods prior he was crucified, and he prayed and was stricken with so much grief, regret, sorrow, remorse than man could not possibly know or understand. He sweated blood from his forehead from how stressed he was. Why? Not because Jesus was afraid to die for our sins. It was because Jesus took all the sins that people would ever commit, have commit, and he sacrificed his body to god, his father in heaven so we may be forgiven. An ultimate act of love. Jesus went through ultimate depression then and there. We may suffer in life, Jesus suffered but he never stopped spreading his love.

Jesus wants us to believe in him. That means that you accept he died for your sins AND he wants you to turn from your sins and seek him. For when you seek a relationship with Jesus, he can truly change your heart and way of thinking.

Jesus could have killed himself as escape of mockery, but what good is that? There is no love in the act at all. It hurts people, it deeply scars them, and creates bitterness.

Paying for your death is not in the will of god. It saddens god.

Talk to god. Ask for forgiveness of your sins, turn from them and embrace Jesus and his love. The closer you get to jesus, the more your heart becomes changed and like his, and a changed heart is different thoughts. Trust me, your depression can be healed. Not just by praying for it to go away, you must seek Jesus.

I used to be very depressed, I couldn't interact with anyone or look them in the eyes which is the most painful, and isolating thing. I never truly had friends. My dad is abusive. But when god opened my heart to him, I found my meaning in life to spread the love of jesus and seek a relationship with him to guide me through life. I made close friends and even at times when I am miserable, I have hope that Jesus can bring me eternal salvation. I pray for god to lift the burden and help me, and he does. Suicide doesn't cross my mind anymore. I will live for god, for Jesus lived for me.

I will pray for you.

Admin

Telescope Galaxy 29.11.2012. 22:47

How can I overcome depression and anxiety and stop feeling so embarrassed about it? I've already asked this type of question twice, but both times I put in lots of details and made it way too long. This version actually will be shorter.

I'm a 19-year-old male psych major living at home working a part-time job. I was always intelligent, but now my depression has really dulled my mind, and it's hard just to focus. It's interfering with my schoolwork a lot, and even regular daily functions are tough. I saw a therapist 6 sessions, and she told me it was not from ADD or something like that, it's just that depression (and anxiety to a less severe extent) has affected my thinking so much. After 5 visits she gave me a written test and said with my numerous psychological and physiological symptoms I should really try antidepressants. I know it could improve my life a lot, but I'm too embarrassed. My dad's insurance only allows for 6 therapy sessions, and since I live with my mom, only she knew I went to a therapist in the first place. I didn't want to tell people I didn't have to, so my dad never found out. I worry that if I call my insurance company to get more sessions or even go to a doctor to get a prescription, they might tell him. I'm just too ashamed for him to find out. I've only told my mom (just because I had to in order to get help) and three close friends. They're supportive, but my mom, although she seemed to care at first, doesn't take it seriously and can't believe I don't know why I'm depressed. She once suggested I MADE ALL THIS UP just to stress her out. She made herself the victim.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm embarrassed to tell people. I would never just make this up. I've suffered for YEARS AND YEARS, and it's getting old. Anyway, I have depressive episodes regularly with all the real symptoms of depression (and real symptoms of anxiety sometimes), and the times when I feel okay are becoming more and more rare. I wouldn't actually kill myself, but quite honestly, I often feel I'm worthless and don't have much desire to go on anymore. I think about not even living more than I should. I'm just so miserable. And this is NOT a cry for attention. As I said, I've only told 4 people and try to keep it secret. My friend said it's nothing to be embarrassed about, and I shouldn't care what people think, and she felt so much better when she got help and overcame depression. She said I should at least go to the school counselors because it's free, but I'd have to tell my mom why I'm not home (I'm only on campus for class), and the office is in a classroom building. As silly as it is, I'm embarrassed for someone just to see me go in there. I don't see depression/mental illness as weak in OTHER people, but I feel pathetic and hate for anyone to know. How can I get help and be more open about it? It would be a weight lifted if I could just stop keeping secret. I've always been "strong," and although I'm not some masculine tough guy by any means, men aren't expected to be depressed. Society expects us just to shake it off. Anyway, I'm sick of being miserable and struggling in school and in every day life and to get anything done at all. Please help and give me some advice. Thank you.

Telescope Galaxy

Admin 29.11.2012. 22:47

Uhm, I'm no professional, so sorry if my advice doesn't help but I'll try my best!
So, I understand feeling like that, but to let it get to such a degree is when u know it needs to stop, which you HAVE realized definitely. I say in honestly to go for the antidepressants. It's not like society really expects EVERY guy to shake things off and there are plenty of guys who suffer the same feelings. The counselling in school sounds like a good idea, and it's great that you have supportive friends! :)
So, because I'm not you and I don't have your exact thinking and etc, I can't say what exacty will help you. I just feel that you shouldn't be embarrassed. Honestly, yes, people will judge you. But who won't judge no matter what you or anyone else does? People judge others every day without even thinking about it! So don't feel embarrassed, you have supporters and you can go to the counselling to get over your depression. The antidepressents will most likely help if you believe so.
Your mindset should also lighten up a bit, if you let the depression just cloud your mind then nothing will result well. Try to think of the better things, and ik that this is bad to do, but when I feel down, I think that there are so many other people who have it worse than me. So I shouldn't feel as bad as I do or care so much about other people, you can live your life however you want! And if you want to get over a problem, you can do it without caring what others think of you. Whatever emotions you feed more, those are the ones that will win you over in the end. Don't let it be depression!

Hope this helps?
Best of luck! ^^

Admin

eyikoluvsandy 07.03.2013. 16:32

How can I deal with left over emotional stress? I just got my master's degree. I'm really proud of that. But I encountered an enormous amount of stress in doing so. In addition to this, my living conditions after the fact were less than ideal, and involving direct emotional trauma brought on by mental episodes and 3am wake-ups by my mentally ill roommate. I was broke, and got a job to help support us both, although there were days when I couldn't afford to each. I understand that it's not her fault, and furthermore, I'm eternally grateful for being allowed to stay with her, it was an extremely difficult situation to be in, and although I carry a feeling of triumph for having made it through all of that, and I'm happy to be back at home...I'm still feeling depressed, and stressed out, and I'm not sleeping well.

I have a history of depression myself, and this is just the latest in a series of major traumas from parents' divorce, emotional abuse, self-harming, unhealthy relationships, over half a dozen friends dead, before 25, etc., like my whole life has just been a struggle, like a weed trying to break through a foot thick pavement. I know that "that's life" and you have to just press on, and all that other poetic crap, but I really feel...traumatized, like...like I'm overloaded now, I've seen too much, but I can't talk to anyone about it because I don't want to throw my friend under the bus, and I don't want to seem overdramatic. And the last time I sought professional help, they put me in the psych ward, so I don't really trust the mental health system anymore. But then I just feel more and more alone, and I'm wrestling with depression and self-destructive thoughts every day, and I'm wondering how much more of this I can take before I get too tired to keep my head above water. How long do I have before this depression, this emotional stress either kills me or drives me to kill myself? What can I do to defuse this ticking time bomb?

eyikoluvsandy

Admin 07.03.2013. 16:32

1. Confront the Source
Part of the reason we build up so much emotional stress is we tend to bottle up our feelings. That vicious cycle just continues to perpetuate our stress. It's not always easy, but one of the best ways to deal with emotional stress is to face it head-on. If you're having issues with someone in your family, a co-worker, or your spouse or partner, then talk about it. Address your concerns in a constructive manner and, most importantly, acknowledge your stress. If you're having ongoing problems with someone, you might consider counseling to help you deal with emotional stress. Counseling is rarely cheap, but for many it's an important component of living a healthy lifestyle. Depending on the severity of the situation, you'll want to meet with a counselor at least once a week.

2. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Meditation, whether just as a form of relaxation or as a spiritual endeavor, is beneficial when you're trying to deal with emotional stress. Traditional japa meditation (characterized by the recital of the mantras "Om" or "Om Namo Narayana") is a deeply spiritual form of meditation that has also been used for generations for clarity and inner peace. Catholics may, for example, find similar relief from saying the rosary, another repetition-focused chant. However you choose to use meditation to deal with emotional stress, you'll want to close your eyes, sit in a comfortable position and breathe with slow, deep, regular breaths. If you're following a mantra, then repeat the mantra the requisite number of times using prayer beads as a guide (108 beads). The rosary, at its most basic, includes the "Lord's Prayer" on every singular bead while groups of 10 are marked by the recitation of the "Hail Mary."

3. Get Moving
Exercise sounds like it would be counterintuitive when you're under stress, but one of the best ways to deal with emotional stress is to throw yourself into a workout routine. Whether you go to the gym every day or every other day, or make it a point to go for a walk in the morning, exercise relieves tension and provides an outlet for stress. Weight training is particularly beneficial when you need to deal with stress, as it requires a tremendous output of energy. If your health level doesn't permit regular weight training, you may want to try using hand and ankle weights when walking to increase your workout.

Admin

eyikoluvsandy 07.03.2013. 16:31

How can I deal with left over emotional stress? I just got my master's degree. I'm really proud of that. But I encountered an enormous amount of stress in doing so. In addition to this, my living conditions after the fact were less than ideal, and involving direct emotional trauma brought on by mental episodes and 3am wake-ups by my mentally ill roommate. I was broke, and got a job to help support us both, although there were days when I couldn't afford to each. I understand that it's not her fault, and furthermore, I'm eternally grateful for being allowed to stay with her, it was an extremely difficult situation to be in, and although I carry a feeling of triumph for having made it through all of that, and I'm happy to be back at home...I'm still feeling depressed, and stressed out, and I'm not sleeping well.

I have a history of depression myself, and this is just the latest in a series of major traumas from parents' divorce, emotional abuse, self-harming, unhealthy relationships, over half a dozen friends dead, before 25, etc., like my whole life has just been a struggle, like a weed trying to break through a foot thick pavement. I know that "that's life" and you have to just press on, and all that other poetic crap, but I really feel...traumatized, like...like I'm overloaded now, I've seen too much, but I can't talk to anyone about it because I don't want to throw my friend under the bus, and I don't want to seem overdramatic. And the last time I sought professional help, they put me in the psych ward, so I don't really trust the mental health system anymore. But then I just feel more and more alone, and I'm wrestling with depression and self-destructive thoughts every day, and I'm wondering how much more of this I can take before I get too tired to keep my head above water. How long do I have before this depression, this emotional stress either kills me or drives me to kill myself? What can I do to defuse this ticking time bomb?

eyikoluvsandy

Admin 07.03.2013. 16:31

well--first off---do go find yourself a psychiatrist/gp and calmly talk about what stress you've been under--do not say that you want to kill or harm yourself or others--then they won't hold you for a watch===do get some medication--first off---and then you need to start working on yourself just like you worked on your masters--make yourself your own priority--you have been drained and need to replenish--meditate, do yoga, go to therapy-take your meds-make every day about feeling better---it works!!! get sleep--exercise---do something fun each day---if you can get a master's through all that stress then you can do this for yourself. you need to do this for yourself-you know you are heading for trouble so fight back and take care of it!

Admin

New Jousey grl 05.07.2011. 03:59

How can I help a good friend with post traumatic stress disorder? My dear friend has had a lot of trouble with depression lately, he's having trouble eating and has been upset a lot. He told me that he's still been mourning the death of his mother even though she died when he was 5 (he's 17) and he has PTSD because her mother's BF tried to kill him when he had to live with him. He's just always been sort of timid but he's a really sweet person, everyone loves him and he's really easy to get along with, I'd really like to help as a friend, what can I do?

New Jousey grl

Admin 05.07.2011. 03:59

As a survivor of post-traumatic stress disorder and a recovered depressive myself, I think you need to be there for your friend all the time and listen to him. He needs a constant ear to listen to his woes even if the communication is nonverbal. He also needs a constant presence or companion whenever he needed one. I know it's going to take a lot of effort coming from you, but he needs assurance that somebody would be there for him. Not everyone of us is capable of doing that as some of my "closest friends" vanished into thin air when I was going through a depressive illness because someone tried to kill me and was unsuccessful so my attacker left me a broken nose, cheekbone and orbital of the eye. I was so frustrated, have had crying spells and constantly called friends so I would feel safe and feel that they were there because I live alone. And after years of therapy, I got better. For depressives, being alone and feeling alone is the worst feeling ever in this world. Constantly reassure him that you will be there for him and that would give him a lot of comfort.

I also think you are going to do your friend a favor if you would accompany him to a counsellor or a therapist whenever he has a session for moral and emotional support. That would speed up his recovery. But it is going to take some time before he gets fully recovered so both you and your friend have to be very patient. We cannot expect success overnight, but he will get better. He must also be told to help himself and seek treatment or therapy, whichever is prescribed of him by a therapist or a psychiatrist to monitor his progress and also if he ever needs medication.

Good luck to you and your friend. Remember, always be a very understanding friend as he needs someone like you the most at this point in his life.

Admin

Wolf Heart 19.09.2007. 17:44

How do you know when you need professional help when dealing with depression? And how do you know for sure it's depression?

I can't get myself wanting to do the things I used to enjoy. I don't want to go out with friends anymore.

But I don't cry all the time, and I don't think about killing myself. Sometimes I'm really hard on myself.

I don't want to be put on pills.

Wolf Heart

Admin 19.09.2007. 17:44

Below are some tips on overcoming depression. believe me it works.

Make yourself busy. We all need to feel like we're involved in something significant. We need to participate in something outside ourselves. You might consider volunteering at a local women's shelter or food pantry. That will elevate your mood as well as your self esteem.

Exercise is good for us, but physical contact is equally important. Exercise affects brain chemicals, and the healing touch of physical closeness does too. If you're depressed, hug somebody - anybody, everybody! A hug is good medicine. It reduces stress and tension and it boosts your immunity to illness. Hugs raise self esteem and lower blood pressure. They feel good and make people happy. And they're free! Hugs are the universal language that communicates love and acceptance. They're healthy for the "hugger" as well as the "hugee."

Take up a sporting activity like walking, cycling, tennis, golf, water sports, riding, gliding, sailing, football, badminton. Something with a personal achievement goal. Spectator sports do not count and have little value for the purpose of defeating depression. Like alcohol (with which they are often associated) and television, they are simply ephemeral distractions. Depression cannot exist when the adrenaline is surging. Try bungee jumping.

Avoid substances that are unknown to cause mood swings or depressionlike alcohol, caffeine, chocolate and high sugar foods.

Learn to laugh. It really will make you feel better. Visit a local joke shop or toy shop. Buy books and magazines that you find entertaining and amusing rather than just educational. hire a funny video and invite one or two friends round to enjoy it with you.

Build up your self-confidence. People who suffer from depression often lack self-assurance. Write an advertisement for yourself listing all your good qualities. Carry your advert with you and look at it whenever you?re feeling down.

Have a pet. The pet, however, be it a parrot, a cat, a mouse or a dog do not have this problem. They love their ?master? unconditionally and this is fully reflected through their behavior. It is much easier overcoming depression and making your way back to normalcy when you are faced with the exceptional love of a pet (or more). It was observed that people whom pets were given want to become better, want to become useful, want to love back and hence slowly escape the clutches of depression and return to their old selfs.

Talk to someone about it. A problem shared is a problem halved. Have you ever felt better by getting something off your chest? Of course you have. Did talking about a problem in the past help to put it into perspective and perhaps make it easier to deal with. I would guess you have probably been there too. Depression is no different. Find someone you can trust and get talking about it. Friends, family, your doctor, support groups both online and off....You might even find that someone comes up with an idea you have never thought of which just might work for you.

Admin

StrandedSon 29.12.2012. 03:42

How can I best help my parents solve their marital issues? My parents have been married since 1985. They immigrated and started living in the US in 1986. They have four children, three of which are above 18. What I thought was a happy marriage has been unraveling before my eyes.
My mom had a health scare in January 2011. She took nearly eight months off of work. I assumed that it was because of health issues, but there's more to the picture.
She was diagnosed with depression and began seeing a psychiatrist. I thought the depression was from her physical health, not knowing that my mother was struggling emotionally. Since May 1988, my mother has worked two full time jobs as a nurse. She only quit one of her jobs in July of 2012. She now has a sole job as a nurse manager at a big city hospital. She has been stressing and killing herself since the late 1980s to be able to provide for our family, even despite our pleas for her to work one job. It hurts me, but I am grateful because I know none of us ever went hungry.
My father has a job as a computer engineer with a well known corporation, but, to my astonishment, it does not pay well. My father makes four times less than what my mom was making with her two jobs. With her sole job, her annual income is still at least 2.5 times more. She revealed to my older sister and I, today, that her younger brother spoke with our father years ago. Our uncle asked our father how he could allow his wife to work two strenuous jobs and be the primary provider for the family. He also asked our father to look for a better paying job, which he never did.
As with many failed marriages, finances are the brunt of the issue. My mother told us that whenever we traveled, she paid for the trips. $12,000 to take the family to New York some years back came out of her pocket alone. We also took a trip overseas two years ago, which she paid for. She said she has taken as much as $100,000 from her retirement funds to pay for trips, bills, and other things for which my dad has needed money. I doubt if my father had a better paying job that this issue would be as obvious as it is or even exist.
Initially before talking with my mom today, I thought my older sister and I could have a meeting with our parents and find solutions to help move the family forward. However, after hearing everything my mother has told us today, I feel like the solutions are few, if any at all. How on Earth can I bring my parents together with such deeply rooted issues? It seems my mother is holding a lot against my father, and I can't blame her. I don't know what I can do as her child, to help the situation. My goal is to keep my family somewhat intact until my youngest sister, a preteen, finishes high school. Any and all help would be appreciated.

StrandedSon

Admin 29.12.2012. 03:42

You can't! They are adults and they make decisions for the family. They decide what to do with their money and if they (she) have regrets, they need to work it out. The burden of their marriage cannot fall on their children.

My parents tried to make me carry the burden of their marriage. As a parent now, I can't understand how they could do that to me. The stress it put on me was terrible and I could not change their behavior, only they could! Whatever could I have done? Even if you sign them up for a Dave Ramsey FInaincial Freedom class, it's not like you can force their behavior/ communication styles/ past resentments to change! That is for THEM to do on their own. Shame on them for involving you. They are the adults. It is their marriage. Let them work it out, don't get involved. YOU cannot win. IF they cared enough to make changes, they would have.

Many women make more money than their husbands. Few families in America need the kind of income your parents bring in. Many survive on the salary of one nurse and are quite happy. They make all kinds of decisions about lifestyle that are their choices. No one forced them to take a trip to NY or anywhere else. They make their decisions, they live with the consequences.

And shame on you for just taking your mom's side. I know you are sad seeing her suffer, but she can't just dump that on you. SHe needs to work on her marriage.

Admin

SuicidalSheep 05.07.2013. 07:16

How do I make it through life until depression goes away? Okay, it's not that I'm exactly suicidal, but I'm just not sure how I'd live another year. I can't see myself getting older or new things happening. I just see things as if it will never change. I won't kill myself, but I think I need help because I just want my quality of life to be happier and all...

My attitude really changed and a lot of people don't know me anymore or kind of left me to be. I'm more of a punk now and I believe my moods has really affected my behavior. I smoke, I've thought of doing heavier drugs, thought of drinking, times where I wanted to drop out of school, and times where I really just wanted to give up and I have had suidicidal thoughts in the past. I think I want help but I'm afraid to tell my parent?

SuicidalSheep

Admin 05.07.2013. 07:16

There is a HUGE difference between 'feeling depressed' and actually having the mental disorder.
From what you've said, it sounds like you are feeling depressed--and not actually having the mental illness.
I take it you are a teenager? It is extremely common for all teens (preteens as well) to go through an emotional rollercoaster during puberty. becoming older physically, mentally, emotionally and every other way is a learning experience. You are growing, changing, thinking about the future, etc. They call it 'teenage angst' because it is often painful, with feelings of hopelessness, anxiety and depression.
BUT-please remember that we all experience this--and we all go through it--AND 'get' through it. It is all part of growing up, unfortunately.
let me tell you from experience;
Everyday is a new day--none of us can control it--and noine of us know what may or may not happen. Life is always changing--everyday you have opportunities to learn new things, make new friends, etc. What are you passionate about? Is it sports, art, music, pets, dance, singing, writing?? Get involved in something that means alot to you--and reach out to meet others that have the same interest. Whether it be playing chess, or cards, or basketball; watching scary movies, photography, rescuing dogs---whatever. This is the 'stuff' that makes life meaningful--and worthwhile.
Smoking isn't the worst thing in the world. Pleasedo not move onto heavier stuff--as you can get a bad reaction, especially to hallucinogenics, and end up psychotic---out of touch with reality and institutionalized for life. You do NOT want that---and I have seen it happen dozens of times. Your life is far more important. Plus they are illegal, and you do not need a criminal record--or jail time. You are too important. Drinking isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I have been on meds for 20 yrs and had to stop drinking completely. And I used to party every weekend for many years!! But I was able to do it. Your judgment is impaired when you drink and you can get yourself into all kinds of trouble. be careful with sex as well--as you don't need to be supporting a baby for the next 18-21 years of your life! Again, you are too important for this!!
Get through school and put it behind you. Each day you go, is one day closer to graduating and being out of there forever! At least have a high school degree under your belt. It is a foundation upon which you can build other things. At some point you will be supporting yourself--which means getting a job and thinking about a car and an apartment. It is all a 'one step at a time' thing.
You set up little goals, and work on one at a time.
You do want help--you posted, and I am so glad you did.
You don't have to talk with your parent, unless you feel safe doing so. There are counselors, probably, at school, that may have advice.
believe it or not, I struggle with depression--it runs in my family--and I have found the best and easiest way to get through it is to forget about yesterday. It is gone. Tomorrow may or may not come--so don't worry about that either.
We have no control over either one.
All we have is today----right now. And we can do whatever we want with today.
And getting through each day, even if it is one hour at a time , is the way to break down the stress in life into more manageable pieces.
If I am super sad or anxious, I will find something to occupy my mind for an hour--puzzles, books, record music, take a walk, etc anything to get my mind off my stress.
Take deep breaths--and count to yourself. It slows down your heartrate--it brings fresh oxygen into your lungs and blood--it helps.
You can change your quality of life. One day at a time. One step at a time.
Good luck.
You are worth it!!

Admin

contat 05.01.2010. 15:11

Who is already sick of hearing about politics and the presidential candidates? and wishes the election was already over?

It seems like we have some sort of crisis in Washington every four years, right before the election, that sucks us in. If its not the "economy stupid" its the war in Iraq and terrorism, or the threat of Russia or China...

As Gilda Radner used to say, "It's always something."

Do you get tired of these engineered crises that are created to capture our attention (and bank accounts) time and time again?

Does it all seem a bit surreal to you, a bit "1984 - George Orwellian" - artificially created and sustained to manipulate us?

It does to me.

contat

Admin 05.01.2010. 15:11

In the beginning it was all so interesting. Getting to know the candidates...then meeting their 'pick for Vice president...their promises, plans and dreams for the country...

Then, when it started getting 'dirty'...and the mud slinging started...and all the same old stuff kept being repeated...over and over again...it started to get boring.

Actually, the way the economy is right now...it makes me wonder why in the world anyone would even WANT the job.

I too, will be glad when the election is over.

I also used to enjoy watching CNN in the morning...catching up on everything that's going on in the world...now, it's nothing but a huge 'stress' maker...

Will we have gas? Will it be $5.00 a gallon?
Will we have safe food? Or is it all tainted with ecoli and Melamine?
What banks have 'failed' today?
The 'stock market' is in the negative...again...only a record 777 points in the negative today <:O(
How many more foreclosures today?
How many more of our service people have been killed?
Shall we call it a 'recession' or is it now a 'depression'?

And, of course, we should all worry about 'global warming'...
And another hurricane forming in the Gulf.....

Stress, stress, stress

Admin

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