Apologies to Iyanla Vanzat. But yesterday I wept. And it was not for joy that I wept. Like Andrea Agassi, who in the Atlanta Olympics, won gold for his country, America. And neither did I weep from nostalgia like some former East Germans remembering a bygone era. No, not like these. I wept not because I mourned a friend. Like Christ weeping for Lazarus. But for the same reason many people throw themselves off bridges, take an overdose of sleeping pills, and smash their cars against other cars. I wept because of love. Sounds familiar?
Yes, many of us cry over break ups and unrequited love. Or even, from the ill treatments of a spouse. And why do we? Because we as humans are prone to emotions.
Love is an emotion. And a most powerful one at that. Without it our lives will be incomplete. No matter the form it takes—whether it is amorous or platonic or agape—it’s the same. But before you call me a “hopeless romantic” I will ask this: Would you rather exist like a machine? Or as a fictional android—human-looking robots—knowing no love?
But love, however, should not be confused with sex. These are two different things. Sex is a physical act. (We do it for pleasure.) Love on the other hand is an emotional bond. (It defies common sense.)
I have read and heard many things said about love and sex. But the most memorable, for me, is this one from Jason Solomon: “Sex is easy and cheap; love requires work.” And I found it, of all places, in a movie review. (Speak of serendipity.)
Yes, love unlike sex requires work (but some may disagree). Unlike sex, love cannot be got at the spur of the moment. Like a Mars bar. Or a one-night stand. It takes time to appreciate. Like real estate. Or a Rolls Royce. Love also requires patience—a lot of it—and forgiveness. Forgiveness?
Yes, forgiveness. You must be willing to forgive those who hurt you. This might not be easy but it is an act which must be done. Because its other alternative is animosity. And this—like acid—corrodes. And this is not good for your mental health. So, forgive.
Now for my story. I loved a girl. And I told her this whenever I had the chance. I whispered it into her ears. I wrote her verses. I even sent them to her as text. I thought things were moving well. But I was love struck wrong. For my much sort after damsel, the “girl of my dreams” whom I had wooed for many months, was snapped up by a guy she had barely known for a week. And to make it worse, he was a friend.
To say that I was crushed or devastated or even dejected would be an understatement. I felt I should pack my things and flee to the moon. Maybe I should wait when commercial space flights begin and Tommy Lee Jones sets up a lunar resort. (I hear he bought a piece of space there for a dollar.)
Now I wept not because I lost her. Far from it. I had seen it coming. But I wept because she never realized I really loved her. Love is like that—a most mysterious thing.
Does my story sound familiar? You who loved and was not loved in return? That high school or college crush who thought nothing of you? That gorgeous guy at work whom barely notices your presence? That lady whose looks are enough to make you go “weak in the knees,” and who wouldn’t give you an audience because she has “the world at her feet?” If you happen to fall in any of these positions know this: you are not alone. For there are millions, no, billions like you, all over the world, who want to be loved.
Love has the power to turn things around. It can endure a lot of insults. Here I remember the story of a woman, who despite being hated by a man will always be nice to him. In fact, the man did every thing he could to inflict pain on her—even embarrassing her in the presence of her friends. Anyway, she stuck to him like glue. He felt she was a pest (call her a tenacious roach). He tried every trick he could to stop her from being around him. Yet she wouldn’t go away. In the end he saw her as a better person. And he couldn’t help but love her. (Who wouldn’t?)
Now are you as enduring as that woman who worked hard—very hard—for her love? Are you willing to forgive like many others who did the same and wept yesterday like me? And today they smile!
Val K is a poet, and a nature lover. A collection of his poems "Without a Name" will soon be published by AuthorHouse, U.S.A. For personal contact, send mails to: leviathandepthsreturns@yahoo.com
About the Author
Val K is a poet and a nature lover.