Effective communication is a highly valuable skill. It
enriches our personal and social lives. In business it's a
matter of life and death. This article will show us how we
can gain almost instant rapport with whoever we meet whether
in person or through writing.
THREE MODES
In recent years, much has been learned about the way the
human brain processes information. The memories we have, the
way we perceive experiences, are controlled by our visual,
auditory and kinesthetic abilities. Everything in our minds
is there primarily due to what we see, hear and feel.
Remember these three modalities, they are VERY important.
Again, they are VISUAL, AUDITORY, KINESTHETIC.
These three modes combine in any learning or communication
process. We use all of them to a degree. However, research
indicates that with the majority of us, one of those modes
is more dominant than others. Do you like to learn by
watching, looking at diagrams or training videos? Probably
you are more visually oriented. Do you prefer to be told
through the spoken word? Or are you the kind that likes to
get his hands on the subject and starting doing, learning
through a process of experimentation? Then you are probably
more of an auditory or kinesthetic.
If this is true of us, it is true of the other person. What
if you knew which kind of mode is dominant in the person you
are talking or writing to? Could that help build rapport or
in some way make communication more effective? YOU BET!
Companies have spent thousands of dollars educating their
salesmen to utilize this knowledge. The results? Dramatic!
How can you apply this very valuable insight? By taking
special note of the words and phrases your prospect uses.
People often uses expressions that indicate which modality
they are thinking in at that moment. For example, "I see
what you mean", "I hear you", "I've got a feeling about
this". When you hear these expressions, sit up, take note.
They are sign posts pointing to that person's modality.
So you have the sign posts, what do you do now? You respond
in the same manner. Start using expressions in that person's
dominant modality. Why should this work? Because words
convey ideas to the other person's mind. You start
communicating on the other person's wavelength. Just like to
modems making an internet connection, your two brains start
'hand shaking'. The effect is amazing. Skeptical? That's
understandable. Just start and try it and you won't be any
longer.
REAL LIFE EXAMPLE
Here is a true life experience. A close friend of mine has a
very successful business as a financial advisor. He read up
on this subject and started employing these methods. One day
he walked into the office of a manager interested in a
pension plan. My friend noticed many beautiful pictures on
the manager's office walls. He commented on them and gave an
honest compliment. The manager used expressions like "let me
show you", "you must see this". My friend immediately picked
up on this and realized the manager was a visual.
When the time came for him to make his presentation, he
started off by saying, "Let me first give you the big
picture" and with that he pulled out a diagram. The manager
immediately leaned over and started closely scrutinizing the
pension plan. From there on it went like a dream. The
rapport was established early on. The manager began to think
"I like this man, I can do business with him." A very good
plan was devised which suited the manager's needs well and
both parties were happy - the manager with his plan, my
friend with his commission. A win win ending.
Don't underestimate the power of communicating in the other
person's preferred mode.
Now, how can you apply this in your business? Do you write
ad copy or sales letters? Do you do face to face selling or
telephone selling? Sprinkle your words with phrases from
each mode and see how the prospect responds. If they respond
with similar expressions, you have identified their mode.
KEY WORDS & PHRASES - THE SIGN POSTS
Here is a list of words and phrases to help you identify a
dominant modality:
VISUAL
crystal clear
focused
flash
hazy
sight for sore eyes
up front
it appears to me
get a bird's eye view
it looks like
in the mind's eye
you get the picture
it's clear cut
take a dim view
suffer from tunnel vision
with the naked eye
AUDITORY
that rings a bell
I'm all ears
certain overtones
harmonize
make myself heard
tuned in
that's unheard of
to tell the truth
in a manner of speaking
gave him an earful
listen up
tongue-tied
described in detail
sounds like
just say it
KINESTHETIC
I'm conscious of
you can sense
she perceived
lay your cards on the table
come to grips with it
that's a pain in the neck
pull some strings
hang in there
touch base with
what it boils down to
start from scratch
that was under handed
hold on
you need to experience it
in a moment of panic
These lists are just to get you started. There are an
abundance of signals out there in the way people express
themselves. You just need to "read the signs", "hear the
bell ring" and "grasp the meaning" behind the words your
prospect is using, either in written or spoken form.
Rapport is almost priceless. Agreements, contracts, big
business deals are often concluded between people because
they sense a bonding between them. Develop and practice this
essential communication skill and your life and business
will take on new vitality!
About the Author
Mike Jones writes regularly in The High Achievers Journal.
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