Internet Bullies The Ugly Truth About Online Forums And How Business Owners Can Stop The Verbal Abuse


"The Internet is an ideal environment for the bully and the
self-righteous - you can attack personally without being
personally in front of the victim. The flame is an unavoidable
result of one-to-one communication that isn't face-to-face..."
Client Help Desk
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A woman posted a question asking for help. When she returned,
her post was under a cruel attack by other forum users trying
to destroy her reputation, her business and her ambition.
Unusual? Not at all.

The truth is, personal attacks happen on the Internet forums
every day. Thousands of forum users suffer from verbal abuse
each time they are trying to ask for advice. Many times you don't
care about such episodes. Until it happens to you. And now
your name or business is under a threat.

Why do people attack on forums? Many times it is because
they have a strong opinion about a subject, and want it to be
heard. But it only takes one such post to have others jump in
and turn an innocent question into an ugly war that is very
difficult to stop.

There is a great diversity of views online - many times I am
surprised how different people really are in tastes, opinions and
reaction! The one reason for debates turning into flame wars is
that many people enter a discussion ONLY when they disagree
and want to express their opinion. Many people will find a forum
boring if everyone agrees. Controversial forums are much more
fun and attractive to inquisitive minds of the online users.

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Can anyone be attacked on the forum? Absolutely!
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When I did a search on the Internet looking for articles on the
subject of "flame wars", I found hundreds of forum messages
instead. People are trying to fight flame wars. They complain
and ask others to stop. Yet, no solution has been found.

Flaming does not only occur on forums. Discussion groups have
their own problem - "trolls", a common term for a newsgroup
bully. Most newsgroups moderators recommend ignoring trolls
who once in a while spoil the discussion with their irellevant and
abusive messages.

Sadly, people want "blood". Someone even created a discussion
group called alt.flame. It is a forum for every bully that you
ever met in your school and if you decide to join, you are certainly
not going to be called a "friend". Prepare to be crushed and
humiliated. This group has been specifically created for flame
wars and does not claim to be intellectual or informative.

Many forum users agree that a lot of good information and solid
advice is missed due to the misrepresentation. You start paying
attention to the WAY it is written instead of WHAT it actually
says.

The Pew Research Center in their December 1998 survey
showed that 45% of online users communicate with other people
through online forums, discussion lists and chat groups. 5% of
them post every day, and 17% post several times a week.

Online communication has turned our world around by allowing
people of all cultures, abilities and means to feel equal and
freely express their views. Yet it let out those who thrive on
anonymity, abuse and pain.

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Are There Solutions?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While there no fool-proof solutions have been found, there are
ways to stop or avoid a flame war.

1.In my interview with Dave Brzegowski who is handling abuse
reports for Epix Internet Services, I found out that you may
report such an attack to the ISP (Internet Service Provider) of
the attacker which you can identify by their e-mail address.
Such incidents are thoroughly investigated before any action
takes place.

2. One way to minimize the number of such attacks is to ask
users to register. Every user will need his own ID and password
to be able to post. Forum owners, however, are worried that
traffic to their web site will drop because people don't like to
go through the registration process.

3. If forum owners are too busy to keep an eye on their forums,
a good moderator is a solution. Of course, not too many people
are willing to volunteer their time moderating forums, but it is a
good chance for them to get their names out, and develop a
relationship with their potential customers.

4. Do you know if you are a "forum bully?" There is a good chance
that you don't realize that your posts might make others feel angry
and upset. The fact is, you don't really feel that a message sounds
harsh until it is directed toward you. So before you press "Send",
read what you wrote. Use a lot of smiley faces (:-). Be careful
how you phrase things and capitalize your words. Try to sound
helpful rather than criticizing. State facts rather than emotions.

5. Moderators agree that they are too busy to catch every such
attack. It is also hard to draw the line between an attack and a
strongly opinionated message. Who should decide? Moderators.
The fairness of moderators, though, is totally subjective. Some
forum users expressed an opinion that moderators should be voted
in and dismissed publicly. If the majority agrees that this
moderator is not doing a good job of moderating and being objective
while removing attacks on others, he or she should be replaced by
someone who is known to be fair. Of course, all of the above is
completely up to the forum owner.

6. Some users expressed their willingness to pay an annual
fee to be a member of a well-moderated board. When people are
paying a fee, forum owners and moderators will feel more
obligated to control its atmosphere. A forum should provide a
true value to justify the fee, though. If I had to choose, I would
probably pick two such forums out of 20 that I visit weekly.

7. Another way to control a forum is to have strict banning rules.
After all, if you post an advertisement of your company, the post
will be immediately removed and you could lose the privileges
to post there ever again. Yet when you are attacked, the
attacker is not banned. May be if everyone knew the penalty
for attacking or starting a flame war is harsh, there would be less
abuse.

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If you have been attacked...
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While personal attacks can be painful, especially suffer those
business owners who have been wrongfully attacked and are
worried about their business success. This means they have
suffered a business defamation.

To determine if a defamation occurred, go through the following
checklist taken from "Online Business Defamation: How to
Respond to Cybersmearing" article:

- The statement was published;
- The statement referred to the plaintiff;
- The statement was defamatory;
- The statement was false;
- And either: (a) the defendant was negligent in publishing the
statement and caused actual damage to the plaintiff's reputation
in doing so; or (b) the defendant published the statement either
knowing it was false or with reckless disregard for its truth or
falsity.

A "Guide to Flaming" (http://www.heenan.net/flame) outlines
over 50 ways to start or aggravate a flame war. Some that were
listed are patronizing, sarcasm, threats, cross roasting,
generalizations and more. It gives suggestions as to how NOT
to get into a flame war or how to deal with someone else attacking
you, your credibility or your business.

1. Ask for evidence. If someone frames you publicly, ask what
proof they have to support their point. Be sure they have NO
proof before you challenge them, though :-)

2. Your self control will enhance your reputation. Before posting
a response, wait a few hours. May be someone else will jump in and
will help you out in this situation. May be a satisfied customer,
or someone who actually knows you and your work. Do not respond
to a simple abuse (i.e. where there is no facts or information, but
plain insulting comments).

3. Turn flame wars into sales. If your business or your product has
been attacked on a public forum, and you feel it is out of control
and the moderators are not doing anything to stop it, here is what
you could do. Calm down - your business will not be destroyed
because of it. Now turn the tables to your advantage: this is an
opportunity for you to talk about your business, products and services.

Explain why you think these attacks are false and unfounded.
Talk about your company, its integrity and your efforts to make
your customers happy.

Those who are in your target market could be so impressed with
your presentation that they will go out and order your product!
Bad publicity is good for business because it gives you a chance
to talk about it. If you can't fight it, take advantage of it.

If your business has suffered loss due to such an episode of
defamation, refer to the "Online Business Defamation: How to
Respond to cybersmearing" article for the legal steps to take
outlined in the "Checklist for Online Business Defamation Matters"
section (http://www.faegre.com/articles/article414.asp)

No, there are no laws that can fine board owners and moderators
for allowing flame wars full of insults and humiliation towards
other forum users, in the US or UK, or any other country so far...
But clearly, the search for solutions is on the go.

About the Author

Milana Nastetskaya is a full-time web developer and the
author of 3 books: "Create Your First Business Web Site
in 10 days!", "65 Instant Web Answers!" and "How To Install
and Troubleshoot CGI scripts".
http://www.firstbusinesswebsite.com
http://www.instantwebanswers.com
http://www.installcgi.com