Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. Forgiveness is a process. The decisions and insights on forgiving come incrementally. I learned how to set limits and care for myself. I came to sense God's love and comfort, and to know that I am a child of God.
1. Forgiveness brings healing. I see that abuse affects all aspects of my life. I ask for healing in varying forms. "As I recognize the truth of my relationships, give me the strength to set limits and to stand solid in your affirmations, and to release me from misplaced loyalties as I allow myself to be reborn in your calling." "Forgive my shortcomings as I forgive those of others."
2. Forgiving yourself is difficult and may come much later than forgiving others. "Forgive me for being stuck in my parents' shame as I forgive myself for feeling responsible for what they did." "Forgive my confusion in the use of my gifts as I forgive others who are also confused."
3. Forgiving yourself is to let go of ongoing feelings of guilt, anger, and fear. "Release me from terror as you reveal for healing the murderous rage of my ancestors." "Forgive me in reaching for food that hides my needs as I forgive myself for losing sight of you." "Forgive my participation in hurting myself and others as I forgive those who hurt me."
Forgiveness is a spiritual key to healing for survivors, but forgiving does not require forgetting or remaining in abusive situations. Forgiveness does require taking action even when you are terrified. Do you want to learn more about beliefs on child abuse and forgiveness? Part 4 in the series will continue with three additional beliefs.