10 ways to encourage your husband to be more involved in your baby’s care.
You know he loves you and your little one, but some husbands are a little hesitant to really get into the baby care trenches. They may not have any experience with babies or children. Unfortunately little boys are still not given as many opportunities to take care of dolls or practice nurturing. Luckily, most fathers today expect to be involved with their families and are open to sharing the responsibilities with their wives. The following is a list of some ideas for getting him involved.
1. Start early. While you are still expecting or going through the adoption process, talk about how you want to parent your child. Involve him in prenatal doctor visits, reading books, even television shows such as “A Baby Story” will help both of you know what to expect and get the conversation moving. Take baby care classes before your baby comes home. You will learn a lot and meet other expecting parents as well. Even if you are the one who is pregnant, you are both expecting!
2. Do it together. If neither of you has any experience, it can be reassuring to do things as a team. Never given your baby a bath? You’ll definitely need two people for this little adventure. Talk to each other before, during and after to exchange ideas and learn from the experience. The more comfortable your husband becomes with baby care, the more ready he will be to take them on himself.
3. Don’t hover. It is hard to try new things in front of others. Imagine if you were told to draw a picture of your baby while an experienced artist watched. Yes, she may be able to help you along, but it would be a nerve-racking experience! Unless it is a safety issue, let him try his own way of doing things. If it is a safety issue, explain why it is important. For example, “The baby book I read said to always strap your baby onto the changing table so she won’t roll off. Do you agree that we should do that?”
4. Disappear for awhile. Once you are comfortable that he knows the ropes, give him time alone with the baby. This will help him bond and experience baby care without a safety net. Whether it is a trip to the store or a trip to the shower, a little alone time goes a long way.
5. Get him reading. Keep baby magazines in the bathroom. Sadly, that may be the only place either of you gets any reading done right now!
6. Ask for help. You may think that your attempt to change a crying baby’s diaper while simultaneously singing, shaking a rattle and doing your taxes would be enough to get your dear hubby’s attention. To his credit, he may just figure that you are so capable that you still don’t need a hand. Don’t be afraid to ask him to take care of your little one. He is the baby’s parent, too!
7. Fill him in. If your husband works at an office all day, he will likely miss out on a few things. Let him know what your baby is up to while he is gone. Give him a call and have your baby babble into the phone. Instant Message him and have the baby type! The idea is to keep him in the loop.
8. Show off the fun side of parenting. Having a baby is more than diapers and feedings. Take your husband toy shopping with you, show him how much your little one loves “peek-a-boo” or cuddle all together on the couch. He may surprise you by finding a whole new way to get your baby to giggle!
9. Hang out with other parents. It seems like moms naturally seek out other moms to talk to. Dads may need you to hook them up! You may be able to find a local parenting group that welcomes dads, or invite a mom friend to bring her family over for a meal. You will find that the dads will naturally end up talking about something baby related.
10. Be patient. Some dads need a little time to get into the swing of things. As babies get bigger, it gets easier for guys to play chase, ball or tickle monster with your little one.
The more your husband is involved with parenting, the tighter your family unit will be. It benefits you, it benefits him, and of course it benefits your baby!
About the Author
This article is copyrighted by Kari Edmonds, owner of the parenting resource site Little 101: http://www.little101.com.
Check out Little 101 for parenting tips and advice for new and expecting moms. Baby related articles, parenting and pregnancy message boards, and more parenting resources. Because raising your little one is a big adventure!