I'm sure, in these hard times of crippling cuts to our essential services, we all feel better for knowing the inmates of our prisons may not be suffering. In fact, things might be looking up for them. Tory prisons minister, Crispin Blunt, wants to overturn a ban on publicly funded comedy workshops and party nights for prisoners, saying we should allow them, with taxpayers picking up the bill. He would also like to scrap indefinite sentences for our most perverse criminals, whereby the state detains the likes of killers and child abusers until they are no longer a threat to society.
In 2008 the Labour government brought in a ban on publicly funded events that might outrage the public. This followed a ghoulish monsters' ball at Holloway prison, where the inmates including seven convicted killers donned blood and gore horror-themed fancy dress to party away, while at one of our high security prisons an Al Qaeda terrorist received lessons on how to become a stand-up comedian through attending an eight day comedy workshop. Party poopers!
Well, I mean: if you can't make fun of it, what is prison coming to? Perhaps, if we want to save some money, instead of the television and games machines allowed as a human right, along with the plentitude of drugs they manage to acquire we should issue prisoners with real guns, knives and axes. Think what a party they could have then! Everybody could be happy!
However, it seems they won't: in a swift rebuttal (happening as I was writing this article) Downing Street has stepped in and overruled the prisons minister - there will be no prison parties.
Hmm... Spoilsports! Do you think the prisoners will riot? After all, sometimes a riot can be as good as a party, can't it? Lifts the roof at times, so I hear.
I see the family of Ian Tomlinson, the paper-seller who died on his way home after a riot policeman forcibly pushed him to the ground, are angry. The widely publicised incident, where so much video footage has been freely available and seen by so many people, appears to have made the overwhelming majority of the public angry too.
To my nose, the fact that the Director of Public Prosecutions, Keir Starmer, has only now stated there was no realistic prospect of convicting policeman Simon Harwood on the charge of manslaughter because of an irreconcilable conflict between differing medical opinions on what caused the man