The Bitch: Under Pressure!

Well Darlings,

As a youngster, and that was a very long time ago, I regularly saw people walking around with boards proclaiming the end of the world was nigh. Every town and city seemed to have its fair share of these nutcases, and mostly they were religious freaks. Today, however, after a noticeable absence of them in any great numbers for quite a few years, we have the modern version of them reappearing - only these aren't coming from a religious angle but from a scientific one, and their arguments are frighteningly convincing.

Twice before in Earth's history, a giant bubble of underwater methane has reshaped the planet. About 250 million years ago it destroyed more than 96% of all life, and then 55 million years later it had another go, again causing mass extinctions. And now we have a growing number of scientists who reckon history might be about to repeat itself, where ground zero is the Gulf Coast. They say evidence of a possible impending planetary catastrophe comes from three well-documented warning signs: the opening up of large fissures in the ocean floor, the seabed rising, and a massive release of methane into the surrounding seawater.

If we are to believe these scientists, the site of the former Deepwater Horizon is the epicentre, where all that oil has been escaping since last April. Geologists are concerned that the leaking well was emitting 60% oil and 40% methane, instead of the expected and more usual 95% oil and 5% methane. Adding to their fears, scientists say the research ship, Thomas Jefferson, has apparently reported finding a huge and widening rift in the ocean floor hundreds of feet long that may descend for many miles. Situated ten miles away from the epicentre, this wound too is emitting oil and methane, while up to thirty miles away they are discovering new fissures. However the greatest scientific concern stems from the level of methane in the seawater around this area. It is almost a million times higher than normal, suggesting somewhere underneath a huge methane bubble exists.

The likelihood of this bubble erupting (with the methane snuffing out the oxygen; the seabed collapsing to produce a planet-rocking tsunami; and the subsequent decimation of all life on Earth) is what concerns the boffins, but what concerns me more at this time is the alleged media blackout being imposed by the US government. It seems official releases are all we are getting.

Reporters and cameramen may not venture near the epicentre area, and this might only be because of concerns for their safety. However when that now comes with the threat of a felony arrest and a $40,000 fine for every infringement, it does seem a little over the top, doesn't it? Could the disaster be escalating? Becoming imminent? There are some experts, and it appears to be a growing number, who believe if it is going to happen, then it will occur within the next six months, and suddenly without any further warning.

Am I worried? No, not really. There are millions of people around my age who, like me, will have heard it all before. We have come to believe: today's experts are tomorrow's idiots far too often for us to take them seriously.

From viruses to asteroids, in just my lifetime I've lost count of the number of times experts have predicted the end of life as we know it. Of course, it will happen one day, that's for sure - but when you look at the bigger picture, the great scheme of things, and see what humankind has done to this perhaps unique planet where life can evolve, will that be such a bad thing? Maybe, after countless millennia of recovery, whatever follows to be Earth's main predator will appreciate its environment, and look after it far better than we have.

So, should a planet-rocking explosion set in motion that process within my lifetime, I suppose it won't be without its fascination. It's been a long time since the Earth moved for me, I can tell you!

The Bitch! (16/07/10)