I Have a Headache!

 by: Gene Simmons

Really. Not a great big skull-splitting headache. Just one of those little low-pressure guys. And I know why. It’s because I’ve been thinking too much. I really need to try to cut back on that.

Actually, my headache is not the result of just thinking – it’s due more to what I’ve been thinking about. I can normally go for months and months and months without any perceptible twinge of intracranial discomfort. No problems at all. Well unless I decide to chance it and watch more than one reality show in a week. Then I’ll notice a bit of distress. But apart from that, life is good and the old gray matter just keeps cruising along in the smiley mode.

But today is different. Here’s what happened. I decided to do a bit of research on healthy living to include diets (not necessarily to lose weight) and supplements. In the course of doing this, I naturally came across a pile of information related to what foods to avoid and what other foods or supplements could potentially prevent physiological malfunctions. A big pile of information. A gigantic pile of information! A super-mega-humungo pile of information! (Are you beginning to get a clue as to why I have a headache?)

In an attempt to turn all of this into a positive, beneficial experience, I need to pass along what I’ve learned. So here it is.

I’ve learned that:

• Everybody – that’s EVERYBODY – has an opinion about what works and what doesn’t. About what’s good and what’s bad for you.

• There are as many folks who disagree with other folks opinions as those who agree.

• The phrase “studies have shown” can be translated to “the studies that I agree with have shown”. Let’s try this… studies have shown that there are probably way too many studies.

• We are thinking entirely too much about the possible effects of weird stuff like d-chromo-anti-lycoperene beta 4 and how it binds to the interceptural neural hair follicles to create left ear moles. Or something like that.

• There are more dietary supplements which are guaranteed to be “ultimate solutions” to all of our health problems than there are galaxies.

• For only $79.95 we can all receive the “secret” to a long, happy, healthy life.

• They eat guinea pigs in Peru. (I don’t recall how I stumbled onto that one…)

• Passing gas in the bathtub is not bad for your health. (Actually, I didn’t find that one. I just instinctively knew it.)

• There is something either in tropical ocean waters or equatorial jungles that will solve your problem.

• Veggies and fruits are good for you. Whole-grained foods, too. Duh…

As I did my research, I thought about growing up in the Midwest. I thought about all the old folks I knew that lived long (like up into the 80’s and 90’s) healthy lives. Shucks, they didn’t know about all of these wonderful dietary discoveries we’ve made in the last 50 or so years. They obviously didn’t have a clue that their health could have been improved dramatically by taking one of the thousands of supplements that we have available to us today.

Instead, these old farm folks just ate what they had – including lots of red meat, greasy fried potatoes and eggs, butter, lard, and a gob of other “unhealthy stuff” – and worked their buns off to make a living.

The conclusion seems to be pretty simple, doesn’t it? Farm food (“natural food”?) – no matter what it is – is probably very good for you. So is hard, physically demanding work. Instead of worrying so much about what causes or cures what, maybe we should just focus mainly on eating a good, balanced diet of wholesome “farm-type” foods and get a whole bunch of exercise. A good vitamin supplement probably wouldn’t hurt either. Who knows – it might even help prevent headaches…