Osama Bin Laden, reportedly hiding in a mud hut in the wilds of the remote tribal region of Pakistan or, due to a lifetime of luxurious pampering and his need for dialysis, holed up in a basement in Karachi or dilating in the splendors of a well-disposed mosque, has reportedly been reevaluating his business plan for al Qaeda.
The reevaluation was apparently triggered by his own dissatisfaction with the lifestyle the business has provided for its reflective CEO and by growing dissatisfaction among his employees, largely due to the high risk of being incinerated.
Dissatisfaction among the rank and file apparently reaches as high as his 2nd in command, Ayman al-Zawahiri, a former Egyptian pediatrician, who has reportedly informed Bin Laden he has reached the conclusion that making videos in remote locations to berate 'the infidels' and then diving for cover is not nearly as satisfying as the life he might enjoy practicing pediatrics in Cairo