For the past few weeks, I've been astonished to find there's been no front page news on the life and times of Hilton heiress, Paris. I mean, with America at war, the healthcare system in disarray, and a presidential election creeping up, what else could possibly be more worthy of breaking news than Paris's recovery from her time in the slammer. We're all praying for you dear Paris; get well soon.
I'm sure I'm not the only one surprised by this; half of America probably expects Paris to randomly appear on every news station, perhaps speaking at the next State of the Union Address, where - when asked about her feelings on Iraq - she replies, "I'd love to go there; I've never been to Africa" and then concludes her speech with her signature catch phrase, "That's hot." Her dad beams with pride, her mom applauds enthusiastically, her dog Tinkerbell piddles from excitement.