This was first composed to help professional youth workers speak with teen boys. There's knowledge below for moms and dads and families as well.
1. Congregate over your meals. Gather in small but effective sets of just a few boys.
2. Use the "Sixty Second Law:" Ask your thought in 15 seconds and then wait for the response for forty-five seconds.
3. Make use of sideways discussions such as working side by side at a service project, in the passenger seat of a vehicle or washing cookware after a fund raising evening.
4. Put anything in their possession. Our business office is filled with toys, sports balls and magazines. Boys who are busy with their hands talk more straightforward, even if they don't look you in the eye all the time.
5. Go outdoors. More often than not, leaders do many conversations indoors. Grab a basketball and go outdoors. Get a hike around the neighborhood. Go with the entire group.
6. Don't be afraid to ask emotional questions. But be ready for the answer to take several sessions to respond. Wait and see.
7. Don't take "I don't know" as the initial answer. Rephrase the question in a fewer number of words and phrases. If that does not work, look at number six above.
8. In advance of doing discussion classes, write out the queries on paper and let the young men read them before you start the conversation.
9. Understand what fascinates the boys you work with and talk about those ideas often: science, sporting events, new music, computer and others.
10. Discover how to use non face-to-face methods such as Email and Instant Messaging to build relationship and trust with boys in between official situations.