Disciplining The Terrible Two's - Time Outs or Smacking?

Raising a child or raising children is not easy - what an understatement! Not only will your children give you unlimited love, joy and happiness, they will also give you your fair share of grief, worry, anguish and let's be honest at times they will drive you nuts with just a touch of anger thrown in for good measure.

There are many common symptoms of problem toddler behavior. If you are a parent or have been around little ones at all you would have seen this behavior manifested in toddler temper tantrums, toddlers hitting, toddlers biting as well as bad manners and a lack of respect. This behavior left unchecked leads to bigger problems down the road.

Growing up as a child in the 70's and 80's I received plenty of smacks, clips and even on occasions, out and out floggings! Despite this type of discipline, I feel that it did not really do me any harm and could possibly be argued that it helped make me the man I am today!

Now whether or not psychologically that is true is another article but one thing I know for sure is that from then to now, life has changed. So has our children, our society and our views and right or wrong, smacking and belting children to correct their behavior is no longer socially accepted or even deemed to be effective. Also, so much research has been done on the negative ramifications of smacking and I now firmly believe that Time Outs really are the way to go.

Time Outs work because of the way in which our children have changed. They crave material things, their own space, their own freedom and also our personal attention believe it or not! Putting your child in time out will correct their behavior far greater than the pain of a smack or belting. Smacking also clouds the original message and builds up resentment between the child and the parent. Parents often feel tremendous guilt after smacking their children and are also horrified to see their child repeat this behavior upon others as a result of learning that physical violence is acceptable for getting your point across!

I am certainly not writing this article to criticize parents who do or have smacked their children. It is a massive debate and I know that although I regret it, I also have resorted to smacking when I have not fully controlled myself in the situation. One quick point to mention however is that I have never smacked my children hard and never above the butt. I have tried to make the act as symbolic as I can rather than inflicting pain to be the desired outcome. I recall a friend who would go through the whole motion of smacking only to stop millimeters away from their child. This act alone, without impact, was enough to get a message across!

In this day and age, I really recommend the non emotional Time Out process as the best way to discipline toddlers going through the terrible two's stage and also young children. You will save yourself some stress and also guilt, your message will get through and you will be surprised to see how quick you can get results if done correctly and consistently.