All parents will want to do the best for their children but how do you know if you are an effective parent? Regardless of whether you are a new parent or that you have a few children, parenting might not come easy for everybody and there might also be time when you wonder if you have done the right thing. For example, should you only reprimand your child when he has done something wrong and ignore his good behaviour? How do you encourage more positive behaviours from your child?
The first thing that you need to bear in mind is that it is not enough to simply check on your child's misbehaviour because his good behaviour is also very important. As parents, we need to be constantly on the lookout for our children's good behaviour so that we can praise them and thereby enforce the good behaviour. If you do not want to see your kids misbehaving, then it is time you compliment for something good that they have done. That will make them do more of the good behaviour as kids always want to please their parents.
Good behaviours need to be acknowledged not only so that the child will learn that they have done something good, but also so that they know that you, as a parent, do not just see the things that they do wrong. You are also aware of what they do right and correctly. So make sure you are ready to 'catch' your child doing something good and it will encourage your child to do it more often.
I know this might seem like a common piece of advice offered to parents but I am speaking from experience. Giving your kids positive feedback does work and it does not only apply to older kids. My twins are just 21 months old and many parents will refrain from involving them in 'household chores' but it is never too young to start. In fact, you can start from very simple household chores like keeping the clothes into the cupboard, putting the dirty clothes into the laundry basket and switching on the fan. Using positive re-enforcement is the best way to instill the good behaviour in them.
One example that I can give is when I'm busy with bathing one of my twins, I will usually get the other one to do simple chores for me like putting the dirty clothes into the laundry basket. Of course, the first few times I'll have to show them how to do it and once it is done correctly, I will praise them with a "Good boy!" or "Good girl!" and even clap to show that they have done well. Now, all I have to do is to call one of them to put the dirty clothes into the laundry basket and they will actually compete to do the job and even ensure that the clothes are completely in the basket, not hanging out! I just have to ensure that I remember to praise them for doing it correctly as there were a couple of occasions when I forgot and my child actually claps to cheer himself!
So, you see, positive feedback works wonders and when you keep at it, over time you will find your child behaving up to your expectations. Just remember to catch them in their good behaviours, not just the bad ones. Raising kids does require us to pay a lot of attention to what they are doing so that we can correct their wrong behaviours, as well as compliment them on the good ones.