There's no use moping around after the end of a relationship. Break-ups happen, they happen to everybody, and most of the time you'll just have to suck it in and move on, taking the learning experience with you. This is even borne out statistically: the average person has five romantic partners in their lifetime, so it goes to show that four out of five relationships are not meant to be! But when you want to give it another shot, there are 4 keys to getting your ex back.
1. Forgive, and be forgiven.
Regardless of who initiated the split, every separation has some responsibility shared by both partners. Both of you have some grudge against the other, however slight it might be. Don't live in denial of it! Bring out each of the problems between you and forgive your ex for them one at a time. If you keep them buried, they'll just come back up later.
2. Calm, cool, rational talking.
Do not let your ex bait you into an argument, nor should you let your own feelings cause you to say provocative things that will bait them. Remember that you might need several conversations to iron everything out; one over the phone, a couple of letters by email, a few face-to-face chats over coffee, and some "pillow talk," at the least.
3. Give your ex some space.
The most difficult one of the 4 keys to getting your ex back is to let them make up their mind on their own. If you are insecure about your future together, you're likely to crowd them, rush them, or be too clingy at a time when they really feel like getting some air. Some relationships do better when the couple has separate bedrooms; some even go to separate apartments. Remember that just because your skin isn't constantly pressed against each other, that doesn't mean you aren't having a relationship.
4. Show that you care about yourself as well as them.
One of the most overlooked of the 4 keys to getting your ex back, this is the part where you take a hard look at yourself and ask if you would date you? Nobody needs a desperate, clingy, needy barnacle attached to their side. You should have your own life, be able to stand on your own two feet, and love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you.