After The Affair - Is There A Way To Be Sure My Spouse Will Not Cheat Again?

The affair completely blindsided and almost destroyed you. After the affair, your cheating spouse is truly sorry for the pain he has caused you and both of you want to invest time into saving the marriage, but you feel so hopeless and scared to take a chance of restoring your relationship. You just don't want to make the same mistake of trusting him again and risking being cheated on all over again. You want some assurance or guarantee. Unfortunately, when it comes to affairs of the heart, there are no guarantees. There is absolutely no way to know for certain that your spouse is not going to have another affair, but there are things that you can do that will make it much less likely.

To have a successful marriage and prevent the likelihood of future affairs, you first need to reestablish the honesty and trust in your relationship. To do this, there needs to be free and open exchange of information. In other words, both of you have to work at being transparent or open and honest with each other. You can do this by:

Opening up and share your life with your spouse

Freely share information about your life with your spouse. Be honest and forthcoming, share information about your day and your work, let your partner know what is going on with you.

Share your thoughts and feelings

When you openly share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse, you avoid building up resentments, because your spouse will know right away how you feel about things. Your spouse will get to know your likes and dislikes and what upsets you.

Resolve to be honest in all things

After the affair, the cheater needs to come clean and bring all of the lies out into the open. Once that has been accomplished, the two of you need to develop a no-lies policy in your marriage. Each of you should resolve in your own heart never to lie to each other again.

These are just a few of the initial steps needed to protect your marriage after the affair. There is still more work to do. But will all this hard work pay off? Will your spouse ever cheat on you again? The reality is you cannot know for certain. But you can stack the deck in your favor by rebuilding honesty and trust and building a fence around your marriage.