Dealing With Cheating In Your Marriage And The Struggle To Be You Again

Has your self esteem been shattered by your husband's affair? Do you find that you are constantly comparing yourself to the other woman? You are not alone. One of the more challenging aspects of dealing with cheating is the struggle to overcome insecurity and low self esteem.

If you're like many victims of cheating, you have this internal dialogue going on all day every day about how she must have been better than you - you're thinking that she is probably smarter, funnier, prettier and younger than you. While this may or may not be the case, you need to put a stop to this kind of negative thinking and be your own best friend once again. Remember, that if this woman was such a great and wonderful person she would not be carrying on an affair with your husband.

Let's face it, the other woman don't have a clue and probably don't care about how you are feeling and is no doubt getting on with her life. Meanwhile you are punishing yourself, feeling unworthy and full of self doubt. Dealing with cheating means rebuilding what's inside you in order to survive. That's easier said than done, but it is your self-esteem that will make you stand up again and move forward.

Learn to control your own thoughts and direct them positively, tell yourself something great about you everyday, remember how you thought of yourself before the affair. Make a list of your wonderful qualities and repeat them to yourself over and over again and whenever you are tempted to compare yourself unfavorable with the other woman, just grab your list and read it out loud. Also, use self-affirmations to heal your self esteem. Remind yourself that if the other woman was so amazing, she wouldn't be involved with a married man.

The pain and hurt of dealing with cheating can make you feel very insecure and drastically lower your self esteem. If you are plagued by self doubts, you need to start thinking about all the good things about you and stop being the judge, jury and executioner of yourself.