Do you Fear a Divorce Because you Have an Autistic Child?



I have visited with many parents and caregivers who have children with autism. Many of them fear divorce because their child is autistic. It is easy to ignore the emotions you are feeling, when you have been given the news your child is autistic. Due to this fact, it creates many challenges which can bring about the fear of a divorce threatening in any marriage.

I have experienced for myself when my brother was diagnosed with his disorder, our family became extremely dysfunctional. There was much talk about divorce, blame, shame, fear, and not knowing what to do, where to begin and the exhaustion of taking care of my brother. What did this accomplish? There was so much confusion.

Living in the present with your relationship you are faced with a huge challenge. You may feel the fear of a divorce because your child is autistic, but you do have choices.

If you are willing, you can stay in your relationship and make it work better, you can leave your relationship, even though your child is autistic and you fear a divorce, or you may choose to decide to do nothing and stay in your present situation. The choice is yours. Remember, you will always have an autistic child, whether you stay married or fear a divorce.

I believe and I have experienced for myself, if you are in a committed relationship that is going through many challenges, because your child is autistic and you desire the relationship to improve, the next healthy, positive step would be to tackle the issues that are surfacing from underneath those uneasy feelings. It is imperative to pay attention to your feelings and allow them to be your source, to guide you to the next logical step when you fear a divorce.

In reality, your child is autistic, of course it is going to be hard on you as parent(s), caregiver(s), but try not to allow your relationship to function out of blame, guilt, judgment, and living in anger or in the past. Instead, use your positive and negative feelings as an indication for how you want to live your life, in place of fear you have for a divorce because of your autistic child.

I know for a fact, that whatever choices you make, start where you are at and make some head way to move forward, with logical and intelligent choices that will work or in time, will work. Have a plan.

The first step is imperative when you feel fear for a divorce because of your child who is diagnosed with autism. After you take the first step, you will know what to do, or what not to do, for the next step.

Pace yourself when you feel fear of a divorce because of your autistic child. Be careful not to leap too fast in making the next steps or quick decisions.

I want to express the fact, that autistic children are special. They may have a disorder and could bring fear of a divorce in a relationship, but they are also an enormous blessing and can make a relationship stay together without the fear of a divorce. In addition, they can bring a marriage together in strength with many positive results.