Healing After An Affair And Processing Your Emotions

During the early stages of finding out about your spouse's cheating, you may feel that your whole world has been torn apart by a major hurricane. You probably have never felt so much pain, loneliness, confusion, anger, grief, sorrow and hopelessness in your entire life. At times like these you may question whether healing after an affair is possible. The Truth is that healing and repairing your marriage after an affair is possible with time, effort and hard work from both you and your spouse.

Immediately following the revelation of the affair, you will not have the strength or energy to effectively process your emotions so that you can start to heal and hopefully save your marriage. In the absence of divine intervention or a magic pill, here are some things that you can do to get started on the road to recovery.

Have a good cry

After finding out that the one person you loved and trusted most in the world has betrayed you, you have every reason to cry your eyes out. There is no reason to feel ashamed of crying when you are under emotional distress. Crying is your body's normal reaction to extreme emotional stress. Having a good cry is a wonderful blessing. In fact trying to hold back the tears and stuffing your feelings can create more problems for you and your marriage down the road.

Work with the natural ebb and flow of your emotions

When you first hear the terrible news of your spouse's cheating, the pain is so great that you feel like it will never go away. But it will, with time and your feelings will return to normal. You will find as you wind your way through the healing process that sometimes your emotions will be overwhelming, in which case you want to let them flow. At other times the intensity of your emotions will start to fade.

Just let it fade, don't fight to bring them back into the foreground , thinking that is the way you should be feeling. There is no reason for you to continue to wallow in your misery for any longer than is necessary. Allow your internal emotional monitor and your instincts to be your guide as you progress toward healing after an affair.