Healing After An Affair- How To Reign In Your Angry Feelings With Your Cheating Spouse

It's not easy to deal with the anger of finding out your spouse cheated on you. And you have a right to your hurt feelings. After all, the person you love and trust most in the world has betrayed you terribly. When you are faced with such an extreme emotional situation, the natural tendency is to not only be angry but also to act out in anger toward your cheating spouse. But there is a world of difference between feeling angry and acting angry, the latter almost always serves to make the situation worse.

Avoid acting out your anger

Acting angry is not productive in repairing a marriage after an affair. All it usually does is drive a chasm between you and your spouse and hinder the healing process. Dealing with your anger can be quite difficult in such an emotionally charged atmosphere, but there is always a better way to behave than acting out your anger.

In acting out your anger, you allow yourself to cross the line and act in a way that you probably know in your heart is inappropriate. If you find yourself acting angry toward your spouse, you should make a conscious effort to identify your breaking-point - that is, the point at which you go from being angry to acting out your anger - and choose to respond in a more appropriate manner.

Obviously emotionally volatile situations such as dealing with infidelity, can make tempering your anger more difficult. But there are things that you can do to avoid acting out your anger in aggressive ways toward your spouse. For starters, both you and your spouse will need to change the way you communicate with each other.

Right now your spouse is your enemy which is making it hard for you to feel anything but anger toward him or her. You need to shift your thinking and look upon your spouse as your best friend instead (easier said than done, right?). In the frame of mind you're in right now, I'm sure this is the last thing you want to hear, but this new way of viewing you spouse will make it much easier to talk about your hurt feelings with him or her and reopen the lines of communication once again.

Learning how to manage your anger is only one aspect of healing after an affair. It takes work and it is not going to happen overnight. But once you learn how to stop acting in anger, you will find that being able to express your hurt feelings gives you an opportunity to deepen your emotional connection with your partner.