How Do You Overcome The Suspicious Feelings After The Affair?

If you are injured by an affair in your marriage, it is not uncommon to have suspicious feelings after the affair. Sadly, these feelings continue long after your cheating spouse makes positive changes in his or her behavior. You wonder if you will ever be able to trust your spouse again or if you will live the rest of your life questioning what he or she says. Unfortunately this is part of the fall out of being cheated on. Rest assured that you are not alone or crazy, this is a natural part of the process when you have suffered from an affair.

No doubt you would love to get the thoughts and ill feelings out for good. You feel like you are sabotaging your marriage by having these feelings, but you don't know how to control those suspicions. Feeling this way is a normal reaction to being betrayed and learning how to cope with these feelings of mistrust is a crucial part of healing after the affair.

Burying or denying your suspicions is not going to help you heal. Instead look at your suspicions as a positive force in your recovery process. You can come up with your own strategy to filter your fears and suspicions and to help you sort through your feelings before acting on them. Your filter will help you to differentiate between suspicions that may be valid and those that are probably unrealistic. If and when a suspicion makes it through your mental filter, then you should discuss it with your spouse as soon as possible. That way the two of you can come up with potential solutions so you can lay those suspicions to rest.

Coping with those suspicious feelings after the affair is a process that takes time, a lot more time than you ever thought it would. You may get frustrated and become stuck from time to time, but by developing your suspicion filter, you'll be able to think through the situation and let some of your feelings go. When you learn how to use your suspicions for the good, you make another step on your road to recovery instead of adding more stress to your relationship.