Recovering from infidelity is difficult for both parties, but more so for the one who didn't see it coming. No amount of talk can change the fact that trust was breached, and often it's not the solution. After an affair, your emotions will undoubtedly be mixed up, and there's no accounting for how this will negatively affect any attempts at remediation you undertake. Getting past how you feel about being cheated on is essential to saving your marriage or serious committed relationship, but you can't do it without giving your feelings time to play themselves out.
Take a Step Back: Begin the Process of Recovering from Infidelity
It's hard to talk when you're hurt, especially when you might feel like breaking down anytime it seems like you're getting somewhere. For this reason, the first step to recovering from an emotional case of infidelity is to take a break from your partner. This doesn't mean you have to move all your things out, just realize that you definitely need some relief from the discussion of recent events.
Direct Your Feelings Effectively
Once you've determined how you feel, you need to communicate. When you talk to your partner, you need to let them know that you want to get past what already happened, but that you still have feelings that must be dealt with. Don't hold back, because if you're angry or upset and say you aren't, it's still going to come out in your actions and future communication. Be expressive and let them know that what they did caused you to feel hurt, telling them about all the thoughts and feelings you had as a result. Getting all these feelings out in the air is the only way to move past them, no matter how painful it is to examine things up close.
You've grown together with your spouse or partner, now you must rebuild that trust as a crucial step in recovering from infidelity. By letting them know how you feel in a non-aggressive manner after you take a break from discussion to determine how you wish to express yourself, you'll experience new levels of trust and a stronger partnership.