Please stop stalking your ex; it won't do you any good! Exes come in many forms; girlfriends or boyfriends, husbands or wives, bosses or colleagues, therapists..or even figments of one's imaginary world. Stalking is stalking, no matter who you are obsessing about or how you are going about your obsession. And to stalk a person never, ever, produces positive results; for the stalker, that is.
Stalking tends to, in general, have the opposite effect on those who are being stalked; the result is that they become stronger because of this challenging experience. This may take a bit of explaining. No-body likes to be stalked; no-one enjoys knowing that somebody is peering out at them from behind hedges, recording their movements, having a go at facelessly befriending them on facebook, or attempting to shadow their life in any way at all. We have our comfort zones and we don't appreciate them being abused.
Neither do we like to think of another person as feeling so low, bitter, rejected, insecure or lacking in confidence that their life has become hinged voyeuristically, either secretly or overtly, upon yours. If the obsession one has upon you is fixated in a clear and overt manner one is far more sympathetic towards it, from the stalkee's perspective that is; it then tends to come across more easily as flattery, even if it is of a type you did not actually hope to encourage.
For example, I have a friend who's ex used to drive up to her new home at night time and shine his headlights up at their windows in a clear message saying "I'm here, I'm watching, I'm waiting, I know what you are doing". OK, so you might find that a little spooky, but he was expressing his feelings and letting his ex know that he was there for her. At least he wasn't trying to hide.
In his mind he was a knight in shining armor, waiting to whisk his sweetheart away from the devil incarnate. What did she think? She was where she wanted to be - in the arms of the man she loved; and the guy at the end of her driveway was her ex, stalking her.
What did she feel? That she'd had a lucky escape; in her eyes he was acting in an unstable and insecure way and for many varying reasons she did not want to know any more; in essence he provided her with added justification for having made him her ex in the first place. Stalking your ex just doesn't produce positive results no matter how you go about it. So I say again, plaese, for your own sake, gather your pride together and stop stalking your ex.
But let's look at what goes on in the stalker's mind. Their intent is perhaps one of many; to signal "I'm hurt", a desire to strike back and achieve some form of revenge or to fulfill a masochistic desire to discover what they are missing out upon are perhaps the strongest possibilities. You see, if you did not firstly perceive yourself as a victim (victim thinking includes "poor me, nothing ever works for me, why didn't it work for me, why can't I meet someone nice, why don't my relationships work?, life isn't fair") you would never, ever, not in a million years, consider stalking your ex.
And so the very first step in overcoming your desire to stalk your ex is to stop seeing yourself as a victim. What you give out you get back. Who doesn't know that is this age of self-help focus? It's time to play out and live what you know. Look at Julia Robert's role in "My Friend's Wedding"; she's not stalking her ex but she is being obsessive. And whatever she tries to do to sabotage the new relationship between her ex and his fianc