Healing after an affair may be difficult on many different levels. The injured party in a relationship will often experience feelings of resentment and betrayal when the emotional affair is discovered. Action must be taken to renew the bonds of the relationship. Since over half of marriages will experience this betrayal, individuals must work diligently to avoid this occurrence in their marriage. If infidelity does occur, there are several steps that may be taken to heal after the affair.
How to Rebuild the Bonds after an Affair
Spouses that have taken a lover outside of marriage must first acknowledge their mistake to the injured spouse. Once the acknowledgment step is accomplished, the injured spouse must be given time to process the occurrence. The cheating spouse must overcome the feelings they had for their lover. Then, steps must be taken to rebuild trust and renew the bonds of the relationship. In cases of infidelity, the cheating spouse will often do or say things to make the injured spouse withdraw physically. When this happens, feelings of trust must be renewed between spouses. The spouse must be made to feel that they are again desirable to their husband or wife. Experts suggest that healing after an affair may take six months to two years.
Rules for Healing after an Affair
During the healing process, couples must try to avoid performing any action that may upset their spouse. Couples must constantly communicate with their partner what makes them happy and what makes them upset both emotionally and physically. It is important not to neglect your partner when healing after an affair. Spouses will avoid their need to communicate with their lover. If you desire to be in love with one another, you must work through the feelings of resentment, dishonest communication and selfish behavior. Each party must acknowledge and in some instances, physically write out what annoys them and decide how to love one another once again.
Healing after and affair also means learning how to protect the relationship from outside lovers in the future. Determine your triggers to cheat and teach your partner to fill the needs that your lover filled during the affair. Conversation is important during the healing process. Listen and nurture your partner to make sure he or she does not develop desires for another mate. Meet your partner's emotional needs by showing affection and giving your undivided attention. Keep in mind that your partner has 40 hours per day to develop a relationship with another person. Spend enough time with your partner to balance the time he or she spends with their co-worker. Above all, be honest about your whereabouts, feelings and desires. This will help to alleviate the temptation to cheat.