Breakups are tough, and there's no denying that. They're a sudden break from the routine of everyday life you'd built with someone else, and now you're left with a blank slate. Every thought, every plan, every hope you had for the future is now gone. It's a hard reality to deal with, and no matter how many soppy love songs you listen to or how much ice cream you consume, nothing can completely fill the void left in your heart.
So, what now? You've been through the worst of it, but now it's time to tread lightly, so here's how to continue moving forward when someone you thought was forever breaks your heart:
Allow yourself to mourn
It's certainly not the most comfortable feeling to have, especially when there's a war of emotions raging on within you, but it's important to give yourself permission to mourn. Cry when you need to- it's a natural release for emotions that are pent up inside, and the result of bottling them up can lead to further emotional turmoil and even physical symptoms such as headaches and nausea. Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member, or reach out for professional help if it's too much to bear alone.
Create new habits
The pain of a breakup is the result of loss, a loss of a person's presence in your everyday life. Though it may feel impossible at first, it's important to establish new habits to fill that void. Take up a new hobby or dust off an old one you used to enjoy, go on morning runs, or start attending a yoga class. Creating new habits and rituals can help shift your focus from the loss to the positive changes you're making for yourself.
Don’t Villanize the ex
It's easy to demonize the person who broke your heart, but it isn't a healthy approach to take. Devilizing them ruins the memories you shared, which you once cherished with them and can also lead to self-blame or resentment. Accept that the relationship you shared was built on affection and love and understand that people sometimes drift apart.
Avoid social media
One of the worst torture methods to implement on oneself post a breakup is to stalk their ex's social media profiles. Social media is an addiction. When you're in a weakened and emotional state, it's even harder to resist. You'll embarrass yourself making impulsive comments, have your feelings amplified, and over-reach for the smallest of glimmers of hope like them liking your post. Your ex's social media shouldn't be a way of gauging how they're doing or make you question whether they miss you or not, as it can lead to unwanted feelings of jealousy, envy, and depression.
Take time to heal
Don’t rush into another relationship immediately after a breakup, it's not fair to the new person and it also lengthens the period of healing. Self-reflection and developing trust for yourself is crucial. Spend time alone without distraction, give yourself permission to take a break from “playing the field” till you're emotionally available.
Acknowledge that everything happens for a reason
Perhaps the most difficult part of the healing process is accepting the reason behind the break-up. Try to avoid fixating on the "what if" and instead allow yourself to accept the intentions behind the events. If it's meant to be, then there's a possibility that both of you will meet at a different point in time when you're both ready.
In conclusion, moving forward from a broken heart isn't easy, but it's doable. It requires taking the time to heal, acknowledge the feelings of devastation and mourn the loss, and shifting the focus to creating new habits and establishing new routines. When you're ready, dating can be incredibly fulfilling, but trust yourself as you re-enter the dating world. Allowing time to heal is essential, and although it may seem like a never-ending process, remember that things will get better over time.