When You Feel Hurt By Your Partner


As human beings, we all crave the warmth and comfort of love and companionship. Relationships are supposed to be the cornerstone of that comfort and warmth. Ideally, they should be a source of encouragement, support, and love.

However, what happens when things go wrong in our relationships and we feel hurt by our partner? Many of us will, at some point in our lives, find ourselves in that situation. The pain we feel can be overwhelming, making it challenging to know what to do or how to move forward from this difficult phase.

It is important to understand that getting hurt in a relationship is common. No perfect relationship exists, and real relationships are complicated, inherently flawed and require ongoing work. However, what makes the difference is what we do when we feel hurt.

This article explores what happens when you feel hurt by your partner, how to identify when your partner has hurt you, and what to do to move forward when your relationship causes you pain.

What happens when you feel hurt by your partner?

Feeling hurt by your significant other can sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. It can be an emotional rollercoaster that leaves you feeling confused, angry, sad, and helpless. Depending on the nature of your relationship and the intensity of your emotions, you may experience any of the following:

1. Loss of trust: Once hurt in a relationship, feeling safe and secure with your partner can be challenging. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and once lost, building it again may take time.

2. Doubt: You find yourself questioning everything about the relationship. You may question how your partner truly feels about you or if they ever cared, to begin with.

3. Emptiness: A deep sadness and emptiness can take over, making it hard to find joy or happiness in your relationship.

4. Anger: Sometimes, feeling hurt can ignite a fire in us that results in anger. We may lash out and say things that we don't mean.

5. Anxiety: As the impact of the hurt takes hold, you may start to feel anxious and stressed about the future of your relationship.

6. Withdrawal: You may start to pull back and retreat from your partner. You may withhold affection or communication, creating more distance between you.

How to identify when your partner has hurt you

If you're feeling hurt by your partner, it is vital to identify exactly what has caused your pain. Sometimes, it can be an extraordinary incident, while other times, it can be a buildup of small things over time.

The following are some signs that your partner has hurt you:

1. Disrespect: In a healthy relationship, both partners treat each other with respect. If your partner belittles you, criticizes you, or speaks to you disrespectfully, it can cause hurt.

2. Infidelity: Infidelity can cause profound pain in a relationship. The discovery of an affair can shatter any trust you had in your partner and leave glaring wounds.

3. Being ignored: Being ignored and not getting attention can also lead to being hurt. When your partner constantly makes choices that exclude you from their presence, it can make you feel like you don't matter.

4. Broken promises: Promises are meant to be kept. Whenever your partner fails to keep their promises, it erodes trust and hurt.

5. Lack of support: When your partner doesn't support you through difficult times, it can cause hurt. You may feel like your partner doesn't care or doesn't take your needs seriously.

What to do when your partner hurts you

When your partner hurts you, it can be a challenge to figure out how to pick yourself up and move forward. Below are some helpful steps to help you overcome the pain and get your relationship back on track:

1. Express your feelings: Communicate openly with your partner. Sharing your feelings and how their actions have hurt you is an essential step in healing. Communication is the key to any successful relationship.

2. Take time to reflect: Give yourself time to reflect on what has happened and how it has affected you. It's essential to be self-aware and identify what you need from your partner to move forward.

3. Seek outside help: Talk to a therapist, counselor or someone you trust about your feelings. Seeking help can provide you with a fresh perspective that can encourage healing and help you rebuild.

4. Learn to trust again: Rebuilding trust is a process. It takes time, effort, and honesty. Trust can be gained back by small gestures, like being punctual, sharing their whereabouts, and following through on promises.

5. Set healthy boundaries: To avoid getting hurt again, it's essential to set healthy boundaries in your relationship. Boundaries help protect you from being taken advantage of and can help create a healthy balance in your relationship.

In conclusion, getting hurt by your partner is a natural part of being in a relationship. It is important to remember that although it may feel like it, you are not alone. By following the steps mentioned above, you can overcome the pain and rekindle the love that brought you together in the first place. The key to healing is communication, understanding, and a willingness to work towards repairing the damage caused. Remember that for any relationship to thrive, it must be built on mutual respect, love, and trust.