God Only Knows

While preparing dinner the other evening, I paused to flip through the television channels and came to rest at an old Everybody Loves Raymond episode. Ray's sister-in-law, Amy, had stopped by to visit his wife, Debra, who was not at home. Amy seized the moment, as well as Ray's moment with the basketball game on television, and shared her day in more detail than Ray was ready to absorb. Soon enough, Amy discovers her brother-in-law's discontent with their visit. Confronting him with the observation that he thinks she talks too much, she figures it's because he has nothing interesting to say at all. Period. Her words are designed to wound, which they do, but then Amy and Ray come to the heart of the matter. Amy loves Ray's quirky family, even his loud, interfering, obnoxious parents, and she truly wants to know him better too. Ray is incredulous at the revelation, and is even more stunned that Amy is pleased her in-laws are themselves around her because it means they are comfortable with her. Amy and Ray come to a better understanding in this conversation and seem to find some common ground, and a little more closeness.

It's interesting how much our human relationships reflect our own feelings about other people, and so rarely include what the other person is feeling or thinking. What we are usually interacting with in conversation with other people is the image in our own heads of who we perceive them to be. To be confronted, positively or negatively, by who the individual really is is nothing less than a shock. How dare they step out of our imaginations into reality and expect us to deal with them as they really are!

It is equally interesting to me how we interact with God on such a minimal, acquaintance-like level, this God who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. Like Amy trying to explain her desire to feel close to a family from which Ray would rather run away, God's efforts to be included in our lives are frequently brushed aside for so many other things, including images of God that have nothing to do with our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer.

Going back to Amy and Ray, his original complaint with her is that she talks too much and won't leave him be in peace with his game and his beer. Getting comfortable with our own routines is very common, and very human, and Ray isn't alone in his desire to enjoy this time he has carved out for himself. But Amy is so excited about her unexpectedly good purchase, the lovely interaction with the sales associate and her whole life, that all she sees is an opportunity to include her brother-in-law in her joyful celebration of being. Who could blame her?

Considering Amy's excitement and pleasure in including Ray, I wonder how many times we have each turned a deaf ear and an irritated heart to God's delight in including us in this incredible creation all around us. If we are more focused on what usually pleases and consoles us in our routines, how much of the unusual grace of God are we missing because it is an inconvenience, a bother that we wish would go away?

When Amy and Ray sort through their relational snag it is quite clear that Ray sees no point in getting to know his own family any better, and he can't understand why anyone with a clear mind would want to either. But Amy sees things differently, understanding the value in simply getting to know people for who they are with no agenda for changing them into who she thinks they should be. She has no motive other than love. She just loves her new family, doesn't even really expect them to love back, at least not in preconceived ways. She hopes they feel comfortable with her. That is all.

While we are called to love God, ourselves and each other, God leaves it up to us to decide how and where to fit that into our lives. It isn't always convenient to care for one another. Death and illness don't coordinate their schedules with family vacations and the Super Bowl. Babies are born and kittens need rescuing when the time is at hand. Parents and grandparents don't always age gracefully and need us when they need us. Friends have seemingly unimportant life-altering information and events to share with us when we would rather be watching our favorite programs on television or soaking in bubbly, hot baths. It is often said that God's timing is perfect, but we still struggle mightily against that wisdom when we have planned and prayed and hoped against hope that what we want, whatever it is, can be ours.

Our timing isn't necessarily off, just not always in sync with God's. If we can see the wisdom of the seeming lack of synchronicity, we can begin to catch a glimpse of a God, our God, finding ways to draw us closer, to help us be more comfortable in God's own presence in our lives.