1: Never Settle for Just Any Woman
The biggest mistake you can possibly make in any relationship is to settle for whatever woman comes along for fear you can’t do any better than what you have! Doing this will prevent you from ever finding the woman you are truly meant to be with. It is difficult to take a leap of faith, especially in matters of the heart, but settling to be with a woman that doesn’t “do it for you” is a HUGE mistake…for you both! Do NOT settle for just any woman; hold out for someone that you really connect with and live the life of your dreams! Believe it or not, women admire men who know what they want and won’t settle for anything less. It is a major turn on!
2: Apply the Laws of Attraction
This subject has been poked, prodded, turned upside down and inside out. It is contained within every magazine and book and research paper on the subject of love that you will ever run across. As a relationship expert myself, I have an entire wall of books dedicated to this subject alone, and more books and articles and theories are created every day around the globe on the differences between men and women regarding their particular triggers for attraction. It is right under your nose, every day, everywhere…on TV, out in public, you name the place…it’s right there staring you down! Yet unbelievably, there are STILL people who are completely clueless about the Laws of Attraction.
Now, this is not to say that the Laws of Attraction are good or right or even tolerable at times. But, there are certain inalienable truths about attraction that you need to know and understand if you desire to become successful in any romantic relationship.
What are the Laws of Attraction? Simply put, Men and Woman are polar opposites when it comes to attraction. Men initially feel sexual attraction based upon a woman’s physical appearance, which then leads them into a desire for a relationship. But, women are initially attracted to a man’s qualities. Sure, women will admire a man’s looks, but that doesn’t lead them into a desire for a relationship with him. It’s when a man exhibits confidence in his body language and communication–regardless of his looks–that women feel a powerful sexual attraction that over shadows the man’s physical attributes.
3: Don't Be Too Nice
Of course, everyone knows that being “nice” is considered socially acceptable in the world. But, women do not choose a lover based upon how nice they may be – that’s how they choose their friends. Being “NICE” just isn’t what ignites the flames of passion. What does ignite the flames? Attraction. What is attractive? Confidence in one’s self! Use positive body language, take meaningful actions, and be your genuine self without regard to what others may think of you. This doesn’t mean you should act like a jerk, because no one likes a jerk either. It simply means that in order to attract a woman, you MUST be confident in yourself.
4: Convincing a Woman To Like You is a Big No-No!
Do not waste any of your valuable time trying to convince a woman that doesn’t appear interested in you romantically that you are the person they are meant to be with. It will NEVER work, and in fact, may backfire on you in a most embarrassing way. Why is this? Because you can’t change the way a person “feels.” You can try to understand and you can offer alternative points of view, but you cannot change their feelings. To make matters worse, when faced with the knowledge that a woman doesn’t “feel” attracted to them, some men often take ridiculous action to convince them otherwise-they will relentlessly pursue the woman without regard for her lack of “feelings.” Spare yourself this tragedy and move on to the next lady in line, who might just “feel” attracted to you-an absolute necessity to a fulfilling relationship!
5: Seeking Her Approval is a Waste of Time
It is completely adverse to human nature for a woman to desire a man who seems to actively pursue her approval. Psychologically, it instills in a woman’s mind that the man is automatically not worthy of her attention, and no matter what you do to gain the woman’s approval…you will always be considered less than worthy. ALWAYS! The simple truth is that you will lack the necessary confidence in yourself in order to succeed in gaining the attraction you seek. Now, this does not mean you should completely ignore a woman’s approval-just that, instead, you need to gain it through self confidence. NOT by seeking her approval of you!
6: Buying Her Affections will not Score You Any Real Points
Yes, it’s true, everyone loves freebies! But, it’s also true that you get what you pay for. If you lavish freebies on a woman to gain her attraction, you send a strong message that you are so insecure in yourself that you must compensate by spending money. Guess what? Insecurity is NOT attractive. What is attractive? Confidence! Instead of buying a woman expensive gifts – take action that you put thought into, such as arranging a unique evening for you both to cook a meal together or doing something especially memorable and romantic. This sends a strong, clear message to a woman that she is too important for you to risk getting your message across by just sending a bunch of flowers. No, you are a MAN! So, show her that you mean business!
7: Revealing Your Feelings Too Early - Yikes!
There is a time and place for everything! Revealing your feelings for a woman should only be done after you have had plenty of time to assess and confirm a mutual attraction. Jumping into the “feeling” pit too early on sends powerful signals to a woman that you lack control. On the flip side, taking it slowly and even appearing aloof is a much better position. When you slowly warm up to a comfortable place where the woman is begging you to share your feelings, you will instantly know how attractive it is to be desired in such a away. This does not mean you should avoid being genuine. Definitely be honest and up front about who you are and what you like and don’t like, but save the “feelings” exchange for a time when you know the woman is sincerely interested in hearing them.
8: Basing Your Worth upon Money And Looks
Of course, it’s true…there are a few rotten apples in the barrel that focus all their energy on attracting only men that have good looks and lots of money, basing all their hopes upon material issues. But, they are fairly easy to weed out of the bunch. In truth, most women are much more attracted to a man’s personality than anything else, including women who end up with very wealthy men that lack personality! History has shown us that very powerful, wealthy people have fallen head over heels in love with others that have neither power nor wealth. What did they have? They had a personality, and that personality was based upon confidence! You see, positive character traits are compelling attributes that act like magnets and literally draw women to you instantly. Believe it or not, women prefer to be romanced by men who hold out their arms and pull them in for a hug rather than men who pull out their wallets whenever they seek attention. Yes, having a J-O-B is quite important, so don’t go overboard. No woman enjoys being romanced by a free loader with no money at all. But, it doesn’t take a fortune in the bank or a plastic surgeon to exude sexual attractiveness.
9: Sacrificing Your Authenticity
Guess what unique attributes you have that no one else in the entire world possesses? You have an original authenticity that is completely different from everyone else. If you sacrifice your authenticity by appearing desperate for a woman’s attention, you lack the ability to attract her. So, what do you do? You find out who you are and you stick with it. You don’t pretend to be something you are not and you don’t beg for a woman’s permission to be your true self. You walk the walk and talk the talk, and let the cards fall where they may. Why? Because if you don’t, you will end up settling for whatever it is you get.
10: Just Do It!
Countless numbers of people exude ignorance about matters that they know exactly how to handle. If you want something, you MUST take action to get it. If you find out that it wasn’t what you really wanted, then you move on to the next challenge. Life is a constantly evolving experience of action after action after action. So, if you want to approach a woman you’re attracted to and get her number or if you’re dating someone that you feel like kissing, don’t just sit there acting all nervous and confused. Instead, walk right up to her and ask for the number or move right in and kiss her. Sitting on the sideline and wondering what to do about things that you know you want will not score you any points. And believe it or not, women are attracted to men who know what they want and take action to get it. So, how do you do this without offending a woman? You confidently act on your desires without regard to potential failure while exhibiting a genuine respect for her feelings. If she appears disinterested, FINE…that’s your cue to exit stage left. But, don’t let it deter you from approaching the next woman you’re attracted to...or she might just be the one you pass on the way out the door!
© Copyright 2005 Romantickle.com
About the Author
J. E. Barron is a relationship expert and editor of RomanticKLE.com, the online romance site featuring unique and creative tips and ideas designed to enhance your love life and immediately create the relationship of your dreams. Visit RomanticKLE.com for more great tips on enhancing your intimate relationship.