Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?
Lot have been said and written about attitudes.....What exactly are attitudes?
The dictionary meaning of attitude is:
"1. a feeling or opinion about something or someone, or a way of behaving that is caused by this: example :It's often very difficult to change people's attitudes.
2 If you say that someone has attitude, you mean that they are confident and independent, often in a rude or unpleasant way.
All of us have been following a set of attitudes we learned in our lifetime through our own experiences and those of others. Some of them are positive....helps us to live our lives to the fullest-enjoying every moment. There are other attitudes which make our lives and that of others miserable - harming ourselves or others around us.
There are a few other attitudes in life which are neither negative nor positive......but can be put under the category - General - living our lives the way we have been and living and doing nothing to progress in life - in our careers, our relationships, our physical, mental or spiritual aspects of life.
Attitudes are nothing more than habits of thoughts, and habits can be acquired. An action repeated becomes an attitude realized.Paul Myer (in Developing the Leader Within You by Maxwell)
The essence of Life as human beings is progress.....One thing all of us have to understand clearly is that if in any way we want to improve our lives -want more money, bigger house, smaller cell phones, have good health, recover from our addictions-if any, looking for "peace within", serenity and contended life, we have to work on ourselves to change for the better. There are no two ways about it.
"Changing our attitudes will definitely change our altitudes" But the problem is that many of us are not ready to change.....we fear change....Friends "pain doesn't come from change....it comes from resistance to change"
Here are a few “action steps” which will help you to work on the "Change of Attitude" Process. Try to work on it honestly and thoroughly. After all it is your life which can improve for the better.
First of all, do a little self searching exercise. You can ask yourself these questions:
a) Am I happy with the growth at my work.
b)Am I having a loving and understanding relationship with my wife/husband/partner or parents or children?
c) Do others treat me the way I want them to treat me?
d) Am I grateful for whatever I have today?
e) Do I believe that "my feelings are results of my thoughts" can I can
change myself to think differently to feel and act differently.
There are many, who answer in affirmative to the above...they are doing a wonderful job with themselves are working on other areas in life where they feel there is scope for improvement.....and the focus is on progress and not perfection. Because once we aim at perfecting a particular thing or behavior.....we don't even start...it is human nature....we tend to be perfectionists.....either we do it perfectly or we don't do it at all...So friends.....we are not looking to have a noble price for living a happy and better life but are targeting at improving from our present one.
If the answer to any of the above questions is in negative, then it is time we get going and ACT.
How do we go about changing ourselves?
Here are a few tools which helped me alter my attitudes thereby changing my life for the better.These tools have worked for me and thousands of others...and if these worked for us...it sure will work for you too...the only thing you have to do is let them.
1. Be honest, open minded and willing to change - This is the most important step. Until you are honest with yourself, open to ideas and suggestions, and Willing to improve....there is nothing in this world which will work for you.
2. List down all the negative characters or traits you have - You can always take the help of your wife/husband/partner or a close friend as sometimes...we may not be able to see in ourselves what others can see in us.
3. Start working on them from "easy to hard" - start from the easiest one...the ones which requires less effort and gradually move on to the harder ones....break the harder ones into smaller parts....have a time limit.....set your own schedule.... but do a little bit on a daily basis....that way we will remain in touch with ourselves.
4. Compliment yourself on your achievements....whatsoever small......compliment yourself...that way we are motivated to do a little more.
5. Thank your Higher power for whatever you have and whatever you were able to change......If you don't believe in the concept of God...thank your stars......thank the universe...or thank science......the idea is not Whom to thank......but is to be grateful.
6. Snap yourself out of negative thoughts....and be conscious about them. One tool you can you can use is to wear a thick rubber band on your wrist and snap it whenever you are having negative thoughts...it will hurt you a little whenever you do that. By doing this you are giving signals to your brain that "pain is always comes from negative thoughts"...and if we don't want pain....we might as well not think negative. Try it for 30 days and I am sure you mind will be alert whenever a negative thoughts comes.
7. Learn from your experience: "The one thing that is more painful than learning from experience is NOT learning from experience!"
Friends, life changes and if we WANT to be happy....we need to keep changing with time....and keep altering our attitudes to the changing situations and circumstances.
Most of us just need to start........take action....... take the first step..........rest , God of your understanding and the universe will help you move on......
"It is easier to get older that get wiser"
Choice is yours....
Anurag Chopra
About the Author
Anurag Chopra is a Chandigarh, India based Attitude Consultant and can be reached at anuragc@iicpl.net