When we think of ourselves first and foremost as human, we've
taken the first step towards regaining our balance. Gender does
not define who we are. Gender is nothing more than a biological
point of view. Once we take 2,500 years of ego- and fear-based
conditioning out of the picture, the main difference between men
and women is whether we have indoor or outdoor plumbing. We are
not our bodies. Our bodies are nothing more than a suit of
clothes worn by our spirit. The main differences are that our
spirits wear our bodies for longer than our bodies wear our
clothes, and our bodies are harder to dry clean. Men and women
do have different points of view, but what matters is that we
are all human. And every human has equal amounts of masculine
and feminine energy.
It would be easier to embrace this truth if we had a better
understanding of exactly what "masculine" and "feminine" really
mean. Our current definitions are inexorably linked to gender,
sexuality, biology, and the ego-based lie of male superiority.
We have lost touch with many of the qualities that were once
associated with the feminine. In order to rediscover these
qualities, we have to go back more than 2,500 years and explore
the culture of Ancient Greece.
The Ancient Greeks were the last civilization to include
reasonably healthy feminine archetypes. Of the twelve Gods in
Olympus, five of them were women. Until very recently, though,
we only embraced three of the feminine archetypes. Women could
be sex objects, in which case they connected with the archetype
of Aphrodite (or Venus, in the Roman pantheon), the Goddess of
Love, Desire and Beauty. Women could be wives, in which case
they connected with the archetype of Hera, the wife of Zeus and
the Goddess of Marriagewho, despite her tremendous strength and
cunning, was repeatedly forced to be subservient to her
philandering husband. And women could be mothers, in which case
they connected with the archetype of Hestia, the Goddess of the
Hearth and protector of the home. These three archetypes
embodied the sum total of the feminine for more than 2,000
years. The male ego successfully suppressed the powerful female
archetypes of Athena and Artemis, who collectively embody
feminine strength, skill and mastery.
Athena was the Goddess of Wisdom, Reason and Purity. Severing
our connection to her archetype was no small feat, as Athena was
one of the most revered and respected of all of the Olympians.
In fact, the city of Athens is named after her. Athena was fair,
just, and an incredibly powerful warrior. She was the embodiment
of feminine strength. While Ares, the God of War (and the Greek
counterpart to Mars, the Roman God of War) was wantonly
destructive, childish, violent, aggressive, and ultimately a
coward, Athena was proud, strong, and courageous. More
importantly, Athena would only fight in order to defend the
cityshe would never initiate any conflicts, and she always
preferred diplomacy to warfare.
Athena is the archetype of the female warrior. Female warriors
are in no way inferior to male warriors: Time and again, women
have proved that they are in every way equal to men on the
battlefield. The difference is that female warriors do not fight
in the same way that male warriors do, nor do they fight for the
same reasons. Male warriors fight to attack, while female
warriors fight to defend. The female warrior archetype has
returned, however. We see it when Sarah Michelle Gellar beats up
vampires and saves the world (while still maintaining every
ounce of her femininity) in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and when
Lucy Lawless battles warlords, gods and monsters alike in Xena,
Warrior Princess. More recently, we see Guinevere portrayed as a
warrior in Walt Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer's 2004 film
retelling of King Arthur.
Artemis, the Goddess of the Hunt, is the archetype of the female
athlete. In every way, she was the equal of her brother, Apollo.
Artemis has returned as a useful archetype for women today,
thanks to the popularity of women's athletics. Women now have
role models and opportunities to explore their physical
strength, and test and improve their skills through competitive
sports.
We have always measured "masculinity" based on strength, power,
and skill, but these qualities are as present in women as they
are in men. Women were supposed to be delicate flowers who
needed men to protect them. The truth, however, is that while
men may have the edge over women in terms of brute strength,
that women often surpass men in skill and dexterity. Once we
take biology and reproduction out of the equation, men and women
are very evenly matched. So what then, are the truly "masculine"
and "feminine" qualities? The masculine principle is focused,
expressive, and direct. The feminine principle is diffuse,
intuitive, and receptive. The feminine principle provides the
container to support the masculine energy. Masculine energy
expands, and feminine energy contracts. Any action can be
"masculine" or "feminine" in nature, depending on how it is
applied. Warrior energy on its own is neither masculine nor
feminine. It becomes masculine when we attack in order to expand
our borders; it becomes feminine when we fight to defend and
protect our tribe from invasion.
It's true that men tend to be more in touch with the more
"masculine" or yang aspects, while women tend to be more in
touch with the more "feminine" or yin aspects. But not being
aware of or familiar with our complimentary nature doesn't mean
that we can't learn about it and express it. This, in fact, is
the reason that men and women form relationships with each
other. Our partners are our mirrors, and when men and women
relate to each otherwhether that relationship is sexual or
notwhat we see reflected is our complimentary nature. We see
the parts of ourselves that we haven't integrated or owned yet.
And through our relationships with the opposite gender, we learn
how to connect with and own these parts of ourselves, and
experience true balance. We need to learn to acknowledge, accept
and embrace these two complimentary natures. We each have both
Mars and Venus within us, and we need to learn how to appreciate
and express them both.
About the Author
Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to
Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit
http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on creating
AMAZING Relationships.