This in my opinion is the best gift parents can give to their children. And it doesn't cost anything, causes no botheration.
The events that I am going to describe started when my daughter Shruti was about 6 years old (now she is 17). One day she came rushing to me back from her school with a request. "Papa will you please write a story for me? I have to submit a story in my English assignment."
My first reaction was that thoughts like these flooded my mind - "Is it right for me to do her assignment? Isn't she supposed to do it herself? Will I suppress her creativity if I help her? Should I enforce discipline more strictly?"
In spite of my apprehensions, which I tried my best not to show, I readily agreed to write a story for her. I didn't exactly write the story, I dictated it to her. During dictation there was some discussion and final outcome was with our mutual consent. In her next term exams she got highest marks in her class which gave me some consolation that my doubts were perhaps unfounded.
This trend continued for several years. Very often Shruti would approach me to help her in home assignments and I was always quick to respond. Jointly we wrote several stories, essays, real life incidents, biographies. But those nagging thoughts were always at the back of my mind. However, Shruti continued to get highest marks in her class and I didn't think it necessary to change my approach.
Gradually Shruti started doing more and more assignments by herself and in last two years or so she has not asked for my help. She still tops in her class and has turned out to be an exceptionally talented person.
When I look back over the years it gives me lot of satisfaction that I did not waver from my precept of upbringing a child.
What was it that Shruti wanted when she asked me to write a story for her? Was it only a story that she wanted from me? Certainly not. Story was only a medium to share her excitement with me.
What she wanted and what transacted between us can be best described by this term - INVOLVEMENT. This is in my opinion the best gift parents can give to their children - involving them in your affairs and getting involved in their little affairs. Everyone wants to feel important and everyone wants recognition - even the child. Involvement with your child emotionally is one way of acknowledging that the child is an important member of the family.
What really matters is how the child perceives and interprets the situation. How parents perceive the situation is of little consequence even if parents feel that their intentions are the best in the world. By establishing an emotional bond parents can ensure that the child gets the correct message. This helps the child in developing emotional maturity, attaining emotional self-dependence and imparts confidence in dealing with people.
The child may not visibly seek attention from the parents all the time. But whenever the child approaches the parents or other elders, the child deserves to be given proper attention. If for any reason parents cannot immediately give time, this can be explained to the child honestly. Remember to be truthful to your children - they can detect when people are not honest with them and then start feeling unwanted.
Here in this article I have narrated how I helped Shruti with her assignments. But whenever she approached me for anything, I always tried to give her my fullest attention. I believe this approach helps child to develop the skill to reach out to people and get favorable response from them. This is an important element in the development of interpersonal skill.
Early formative years decide a person's attitude later in life. Emotional growth of a child is as important as physical and mental growth. This is what forms the basic character of a person. Parents need to ensure that child's own self-image is properly created by proper emotional inputs.
To sum up, the most precious gift which can be given to the child is the sense of self-esteem, self-respect. This is a quality or attitude which prepares the child to face the world with confidence. To help children attain this quality the role of parents can be vital. They need to demonstrate truthfully how much they care for the child's feelings.
About the Author
Sanjay Johari regularly contributes articles to several ezines, mostly on small business. He invites you to most trusted business opportunity, one of the best training programs and personal mentoring. Find out for your self:
http://www.sanjay-j.com/empowerism.html
Mailto:sanjay-johari@sanjay-j.com