by: Selena Richardson
What if I told you that you have the ability to decide if you are happy or not. You would probably say that I'm crazy. 1. I'm not crazy and 2. Happiness is a choice.
You can't depend on someone else to make you happy. That is a lesson I learned early on in my marriage. I realized that I couldn't rely on my husband as my source of happiness. I learned that my happiness depended on me and not my husband's actions. I learned that you have to choose to be happy.
You can choose your emotions. True happiness comes from within, it can't be forced by outside forces. So how do you choose happiness? The same away you choose to smile or choose to wear a certain outfit. You choose it because that's what you want to experience in your life.
You want to buy a new pair of shoes so you choose a pair that you like and feels good. You wouldn't buy a pair of shoes that you don't like or that don't fit well, right? So why do we keep choosing emotions and feelings that don't make us feel good?
Well most people don't realize that you can choose feeling happy over feeling angry or upset about something. It's not wrong to feel angry or upset but dwelling on it and letting the anger simmer for too long can have bad results.
Choosing to be happy after you realize your anger has shown up (or even choosing to be calm) can be beneficial. You end up acknowledging your anger and moving on instead of harboring those emotions until there's a flare up. We choose our feelings, no one can do that for us. If we let others get to us, influence our emotions - we are giving them power over us. When others cause us anger or pain, we are giving them our power.
What about those who irritate us or make us mad? We have the power of choice but most times we react out of anger. Instead of taking a mental time out and knowing that what that person said is about them we unconsciously choose to react. The reaction is usually out of anger or fear. It's a re-action, not an action.
How do we stop this behavior? We need to keep our feelings in check and not react automatically to what is thrown at us. We need to think our actions out instead of just reacting to what someone says or does. Reacting is responding to someone else's actions. What we need to do is act on our own accord and not let the actions of others influence us. By doing that we stay conscious of our own thoughts and feelings and not let what others do to us affect our moods.
Remember that we can always choose happiness. At first it will be difficult to just switch your thoughts and feelings from anger, self-doubt, or fear to joy and happiness. But it is only a thought away. Don't dwell on what happens to you unnecessarily but realize what is causing you to feel that way. Realize that thoughts, feelings and emotions can change. Then move on and choose to be happy.