Faith Fellowship Church…PO Box 1586…Broken Arrow, OK 74013…918-451-0270…Pastor Terry Dashner…
“A Character with Flaws”
Why are relationships hard to maintain? What is it about people that stifle relationships? I think I know the answer. And that’s why I’m writing this document. It’s no mystery. The reason relationship in marriage, friendships, committees, groups, and so on fail is because someone important to the relationship is sporting poor character. (I didn’t say this was going to be a popular topic.) It takes a well-developed, strong, mature, and steadfast character to maintain a healthy relationship.
Recently I read a book by Dr.Louis Tartaglia entitled, Flawless! The Ten Most Common Character Flaws and What You Can Do About Them. The book is well written and identifies ten character deficiencies that are common in patients that Dr. Tartaglia has seen through the years. I’m going to list the ten flaws and speak briefly about each one.
(1)
The first flaw on the list, according to Dr. Tartaglia, is “addicted to being right.” This is the person who would rather be right than happy. Addicted to being right isn’t just having a strong opinion and sticking by it. A person should always stand with his facts and speak persuasively; however, the person that has to be right wants everyone to agree with him. He may not have any facts to support his position; he just has to be right. If someone disagrees with him, that person is marked as his enemy. Do you know anyone like this? It’s a character flaw, and it needs extensive work or it will keep a relationship from going forward.
(2)
The second flaw is “raging indignation.” It is anger here, anger there, and anger everywhere. Raging indignation requires an enormous amount of selfishness and lack of respect for the rights of others. Life is sacred. When you truly believe that it is sacred, rage becomes unethical and never useful. It is only ethical when it is used to help you survive great danger. Raging indignation destroys the person it controls. He spins out of control and dies there.
(3)
The third character flaw noted by Dr. Tartaglia is “fixing blame and nurturing resentments.” Dr. Taraglia states, “Jealousy is described as being fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position. Envy on the other hand is a feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by the desire for the possessions or qualities of another. So we either want the affection of others or the stuff that others have. When we can’t get them, we blame someone else for our failings. Since jealousy and envy are never really satisfied, chronic blamers are always failing to get what they need. They continuously have to blame and feel resentment.” That says it all about fixing blame and holding onto resentments.
(4)
The fourth flaw is “the dread seekers—worry and fear.” Dread seekers aren’t fun to be around. In fact they are so difficult to live with that they are almost never portrayed in leading roles in dramas. Their character just isn’t likable enough. They are the stuff of comedy, however, like Felix Unger in The Odd Couple or Don Knotts in The Andy Griffith Show. Dread seekers are not at peace until they have adequately worried about everything imaginable. And then they have to worry a little more just to be safe.
Remember to pray for our nation and troops abroad. Keep the faith. Jesus is coming soon!
About the Author
Pastors a small church in Broken Arrow, OK.