What on earth is “thrumming”? Well, it’s a term from knitting. It’s when you knit little pieces of unspun fleece or “roving” into your project, let’s say, for instance, the mittens you’re knitting.
Unspun fleece is a lovely and fundamental thing, unprocessed and in its natural state. The sort of thing that, like character, adds body to something else. Unspun fleece joined to your thread of acrylic, cotton or wool yarn add body to the finished product, much as character adds body to the personality of a person.
To thrum something, you work these wisps of fleece into your project, and the result is a mitten, let’s say, that’s very soft on the inside, and far warmer than it would’ve been without the thrumming. In other words, it’s insulation!
Here’s a photo of a thrummed mitten: http://cast.off.net/images/thrummitt.jpg.
Here’s a photo of the fleece, and a further definition: http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/thrumfaq.html.
So how can you “thrum” your life? And why would you want to?
Well we all need insulation from the slings and arrows of fortune. We know that going it alone – isolation – is one of the worst things we can do to ourselves. And “isolation” isn’t about being around other bodies or things.
We know we can be in a room full of people (or material possessions) and still feel isolated.
We can work in an office all day long, surrounded by tens to hundreds of other people, and feel more alone than we would sitting at home by ourselves.
It’s not the physical presence of others that eases isolation and gives comfort; it’s having an emotional connection with them. And this is a two-way connection. We need to be able to give this as well as receive it.
When we develop our emotional intelligence, we’re thrumming out lives.
One of the best reasons for developing emotional intelligence is that it contributes to your wellness. It gives you that insulation, that protection that you need. When we can connect with others, everything goes better. We live longer, healthier and happier lives. We survive illness better, and are more resilient. We find meaning and hope in our lives.
We know that one of the predictors for battling cancer, for instance, is if the person feels they have something to live for. And this “something to live for” is far likelier to be a person, a hope or a dream than a $100,000 CD of a second home in Florida.
It also thrums our lives because it gives insulation against the physiological effects of stress and separation that are so detrimental to our immune systems. We bolster ourselves against adversity.
Life can be full of adversity and we never know what lies ahead. We can count on good times, but alas, we must also encounter bad times. “The north wind doth blow,” goes the nursery rhyme, “and we shall have snow. And what will robin do then, poor thing?”
The robin sits in the barn and hides his head under his wing. The dormouse rolls up like a ball in his nest snug and small and sleeps till warm weather comes. And the children are told that after their lessons they must “skip, hump and run until they’ve made themselves warm.”
This will take care of their physical temperature, but what about their emotional temperature. We know that what warms our hearts is companionship – caring for others and knowing they care about us, and living in community with others.
Thrumming your life means maintaining connections to your own emotions and those of others, and being able to continually make connections with people throughout your lifetime, as your circumstances will change. If you live long enough, it’s inevitable that you will outlive some of those whom you love and who love you.
Women are probably better at thrumming their lives, but need to be careful about adding relationships that nurture in a two-way direction. Men tend to try and thrum their lives with ideas, such as a noble profession, or children for whom they provide, and who will be their legacy and/or inherit their gold, but with whom they have no emotional connection. Thrum with good unspun fleece, i.e., something that inherently has substance. Bond with people who strengthen you, emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally.
EQ is about the ability to gather and sustain nurturing relationships in your life, and the ability to nurture yourself. Developing your emotional intelligence is like thrumming your mittens to keep you warm on a cold winter’s day. You won’t need those mittens on a beautiful spring day, but when a blizzard comes, you’ll not only need them, you’ll need them thrummed.
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, Life & EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc.
She offers individual coaching, Internet courses and ebooks for your
personal and professional development and helps people develop
their emotional intelligence. She trains and certifies EQ coaches.
Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine and more information.