Hidden Problematic Communication


Communication is undoubtedly one of the most vital factors in any relationship, be it personal or professional. It has the potential to facilitate mutual understanding and strengthen bonds, or it can break down communication channels and lead to misunderstandings.

While most of us are aware of the overt forms of communication, such as verbal and written communication, there exists a set of problematic communication that lurks beneath the surface and goes unnoticed. These hidden problematic communication may seem innocent and harmless, but in reality, they can cause significant damage to the relationship.

Here are some examples of hidden problematic communication:

1. Passive-aggressive behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior refers to an indirect way of expressing displeasure or frustration, often through sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or subtle jabs. It is a form of communication that allows the individual to avoid confrontation while still getting their point across.

For instance, if your partner requests you to do something, and you agree to it, but then drag your feet or do it halfway, you are indulging in passive-aggressive behavior. It creates tension and resentment, but since it does not address the issue head-on, it is hard to identify the root cause and resolve it.

2. Withholding information

Withholding information is another form of problematic communication that can weaken the relationship. This can be as simple as not sharing relevant information or selectively sharing information that paints a particular narrative.

For example, if you are upset with your partner for something but refuse to tell them why explicitly, you are withholding information. While you may feel justified in doing so, it creates an imbalance in the relationship, where one person has more information than the other, leading to mistrust and misunderstandings.

3. Talking over/Interrupting

Talking over or interrupting someone while they are speaking is considered rude and disrespectful in most cultures. It is a sign of not valuing the other person's opinion, and it can also inhibit their ability to express themselves fully.

This type of communication can be seen in arguments or discussions, where one person may be more dominant or assertive over the other. It can lead to frustration and resentment, as the person being interrupted may feel like their voice is not being heard or valued.

4. Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication, like body language and tone, also plays a role in how we communicate with others. It can be just as powerful as verbal communication, and it can paint a picture that words cannot.

For example, crossing one's arms while someone is speaking can indicate defensiveness or disagreement, while avoiding eye contact can signal dishonesty or discomfort. While both parties may not be aware of the nonverbal communication, it can still influence their interpretation of the conversation, leading to misunderstandings and confusion.

5. Insinuations

Insinuations are subtle suggestions or implications that may not have been explicitly stated. While they are often used in harmless ways, like teasing or flirting, they can also be used to manipulate or control a situation.

For instance, if you make a comment about your partner's weight, they may feel insulted, even if you insist it was just a joke. It can make them feel insecure and lead to negative self-talk, which can harm their mental health and, ultimately, the relationship.

In conclusion, while problematic communication may be hidden or subtle, it can still have significant consequences. It is essential to be aware of these forms of communication to identify and address any underlying issues that may be affecting the relationship. By doing so, we can build healthier, stronger, and more meaningful connections with the people in our lives.