When you are faced with an incident that is new to you, how do you react?
How do you react when things don’t go quite like you expected or wanted them to? When you feel when you have been blamed for something that wasn’t your fault? How do you react? How do you react when you stop at the junction and the car behind doesn’t and drives into you? How do you react when your child gives you his/her school report which is not as good as you expected? Do you look for the reactions from others before you do anything? Do you gauge your success from the reactions of others?
Each of us reacts from a place of our real self or fear. When you react from a place of fear you can only be destructive to yourself and others. You can only give yourself pain.
Do you have feelings of anxiety? Does your stomach go into knots? When things don’t go your way do you become whinny, irritable and moody? Do you find that you react to some things by being angry, upset, aggressive or by withdrawing from the scene totally?
After a bad period at work do you find it difficult to sleep? Difficult to eat, difficult to concentrate ? Do you find yourself being more and more negative? Or perhaps you suffer internally from stomach pains, back pains, head aches and general aches and pains? Guess what: You are motivated by fear.
Our lives have become so motivated by fear.
Fear of not having enough money.
Fear of losing our jobs.
Fear of Death.
Fear of losing. Etc. etc. etc.
Ask yourself:
What’s the deep motivation in my life?
Am I motivated by fear?
Which is the dominant fear that motivates me?
Your reactions depend on your motivation. Your way of thinking. The problem with a fear motivated life is that it keeps you locked into the thoughts and practices you know. The past dominates your life. How do you react? You react how you have always reacted.
Another face of a fear motivated life is a dependence on others and how others see you. This leads to the situation where you fail to act unless you are sure it will please another. Or you will not act because you are concerned that it will upset the other person. Remember, being in awe of someone is also a state of fear: It’s just that you have gone upmarket.
The third face, is the face of competition. We are brought up to believe competition is good for us. So it is: when we compete against ourselves to reach our personal best. But when you are constantly measuring yourself against another person then motivation by fear rears its ugly head. Constantly judging others and making comparisons between yourself and others leads to a doing culture.
Before you go home You know you have to do…… because if you don’t ……………. you will be seen as inadequate etc. etc. etc. You are now motivated by the fear of losing.
There is another way. A way that enables you to deliver on time every time without all the aggravation. Think in a different way. As we said; your reactions depend on your motivation. So what if your motivation in life is to enjoy yourself, to accept people where they are, rather than try to change them, to be happy and peaceful inside. What if you followed your intuition, your feelings and let go of the fear.
How do you do it? Simple. Implement the thoughts you have. Allow the thoughts that you normally reject or push down or feel will not be acceptable to become a practical part of your life. That’s right implement them.
If you think that something is the right or a good thing to do. Do it. Put it into practice. Don't just understand it and think about it, do it. This brings power. This is motivation by the real you. The wish to do things in order to bring out the best in others and yourself.
One way to start to change your motivational state is through meditation. For us meditation is more than just sitting crossed legged quietly in a room bringing peace and happiness to yourself and others. Meditation is an opportunity to recognise the rubbish that is debilitating your life and get rid of it.
“Meditation is a delightful and spontaneous thing to do. It is a continual act of making friends with yourself, you just cannot contain that friendship within you: you must have some outlet, which is your relationship with the world. Trust and compassion for oneself brings inspiration to dance with life.”
(Arthur Janov)
It’s an opportunity to look at your behaviour and thoughts and change them. To gradually develop the thoughts and life that rewards rather than punishes. Whether you are walking the dog, jogging, washing up or cleaning the car you can start by think about and enjoying all things that you have, rather than thinking about what you don't have. Use the power of your thoughts to create good moods, to overcome weaknesses, to increase your self worth and your abilities and skills. Use your thoughts to transform yourself and your behaviour.
Instead of thinking about weaknesses of yourself and others, meditate on your own virtues, powers and values. Ask yourself:
what did I do today that I was unhappy about?
what was the external circumstance or pressure I reacted to?
what could I have done differently?
what can I do next time I am faced with a similar situation?
As you gain the habit of thinking how the real you wants to live then you will be able to change your perspective and develop a really alert state of mind. This is the power of thought.
How can you react against your present way of life? By doing something which is the opposite to that which creates a life motivated by fear. You can react by having power over your thoughts, words and actions.
Graham and Julie
www.desktop-meditation.com
About the Author
Graham and Julie live on the Canary islands where they pursue their love for writing, photography and spirituality. To see more of their work please go to:
www.desktop-meditation.com