I used to put everyone else’s requests and needs first
and if there was any time left over at the end of the
day for what I needed and wanted to do, that was
acceptable until I began to realize that if you
and I are going to have fun and be effective in our lives,
we have to stay away from allocating our time solely on
the basis of those who demand it. Instead, we have to
allocate our time on the basis of those who deserve it.
I don't mean this in any negative or arrogant way. It’s
just you and I have limits to the amount of time we
have to spend, and so one of the most powerful words
in your vocabulary is the word "no", as in "What part of
NO didn't you understand?"
Almost everyone you encounter will think they have a
better idea about how you should be spending your
time. It doesn't make others bad. It’s just the way the
world works. If there is a void in your life, someone, or
many someones for that matter, will jump in to try and
fill that spot.
The problem is that they do not have the full
understanding of where you are taking your life. If you
keep saying "yes", they will continue to take up your
time, possibly keeping you from accomplishing what you
really want to do.
"No" is sometimes difficult to say because you have
been taught differently. You have been taught to say,
"yes", to please, to serve, and to accommodate.
There is nothing wrong with saying "yes" some or even
most of the time, but occasionally there is a line you
choose not to cross, when saying "yes" is really not the
best use of your time to get you to where you need and
want to be.
If you had unlimited amounts of time, you could "yes"
all the time to everyone. But you don't. You have 24
hours each day, 7 days a week for a total of 168 hours.
And you get to spend that time only once, so you have
to spend it wisely.
Seventeen Ways to Say "No"
Take the ones you like, change them around and use
the words that are comfortable for you. The point is if
you are ever in a position when you can never say
"no", then you are always saying "yes", and like the
song says, "If you don't stand for something, you will
fall for everything".
Like everything else about the PLORK philosophy, have
fun with these!
1. "I'm sorry. That’s not a priority for me right now."
2. "I can't help you on this now, but I can get to it next
week. Would that be okay?"
3. "I have so much on my plate now I don't know when I
can get to it. But I do know someone over here who can
help you now."
4. "Before I take this on for you, let me show you a few
things so that you might be able to do it yourself."
5. "I have made so many commitments to others, it
would be unfair to them and you if I took on anything
more at this point."
6. "If I can't give you a ride to the school dance on
Friday, how else would you get there safely?"
7. "I don't know how soon I can help you on this, but I
will get back to you as soon as I am free to help you."
8. "I'm sure we're close enough that when I say "no"
you'll understand it’s for a good reason."
9. "Sure I can help you with your request as long as we
both agree and understand that the item I agreed to do
for you yesterday is going to have to wait."
10. "Before I take this over from you, what do you think
we ought to do about it?"
11. "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is,
I can do that for you. The bad news is, I'm so
overloaded with everything else, I've become
delirious and have been lying about my commitments."
12. "When I get overwhelmed like I am now, I remove
every third person who asks me for something, from
my "Good Friends List" and the second person just
left."
13. "No."
14. "Thanks for thinking to ask me, but, no thanks."
15. "I would like to help you out on this but I don't have
the resources available to do the right job for you."
16. "Now that’s the type of thing I would love to help you
on if only I had the time."
17. "Just like you, I get overloaded sometimes and have
to tell some very special people, "no". This is one of
those times."
About the Author
Best Regards, Robert Brents, "The 80/20 Guy"
http://www.RobertBrents.com
For your free four-lesson e-seminar, How To Write, Publish,
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Copyright 2001 Robert Brents and Blue Gecko Press.