by: Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
Let us sit back and review the Seven Gateways to Enchantment and seminal ideas that led me there. It will give us an opportunity to ponder over what The Enchanted Self is all about. This might mean returning to some material already shared with you once before, but it is still 100% pertinent. For those who are new to the Seven Gateways may please find them at http://www.enchantedself.com/eletterarchives.htm. The following article contains a short history of The Enchanted Self project alongwith some information on using our memories in healthy ways. This is critical to coming home to our Enchanted Selves. Let's remember that our Enchanted Self is that place somewhere between our minds, bodies, hearts and spirits, that always knows what feels good, what is healthy for us and what promotes joy and purpose!
Going through the article you will come across:
1) Short Description of The Enchanted Self
After I interviewed women outside of my practice, I realized that we do not reinforce, nor encourage the capacities for joy and pleasure that we really have. Often, the media further encourages a negative view of ourselves and our world.
How could I begin to capture and teach others about the capacities for personal joy that these women outside of my practice had taught me?
I decided to share this news in my first book, THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy
In the ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy, I teach:
1. How you can live a more joyful life; a life of pleasure and meaning -what I call THE ENCHANTED SELF.
2. How you can reclaim from your own past your potential, talents, dreams and abilities and reinvent yourself in positive ways in the present and into the future.
3. How, if you are a therapist, you can change your treatment room into a place where your clients find their enchantment. Learn how healthy it is for your own mental health to benefit from focusing on what is right with your clients rather that what is wrong.
4. How, if you are or have been in therapy you can continue your personal growth by participating in THE ENCHANTED SELF activities at the end of each chapter.
When my book came out, I realized that I had a deep commitment to share with the public and other professionals the information I was gathering about how to live a more joyful, fulfilling life. This led to many assignments that I took on, including:
THE ENCHANTED SELF newsletter that went around the world for five years in paper and now with over 2000 readers goes around the world on the web!
Lots of radio, e-radio and television appearances to teach how to live a more enchanted life;
A second book, titled RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! that further brings each one of you into the enchanted world of positive living, feeling and thinking.
And MORE-Two new books on the horizon-I'll tell you more about them soon and lots of products for women to cater to our fun-loving, inspirational sides. Come and see all my products on my website at www.enchantedself.com and www.psychjourney.com at enchanted gateways. And now, let's look some more at the Basics:
THE ENCHANTED SELF promotes a positive review of your life and encourages life style changes that lead to living a more joyful, authentic and meaningful life.
Once you know how, it is just as easy to practice positive states of mind and body, as it is to repeat negative behaviors.
I emphasize using your memories for positive, life enhancing purposes.
I encourage reviewing your past to see that has given you pleasure and joy.
I also help you rediscover talents and lost potential.
Always I emphasize what is right with you rather than what is wrong.
Let's give energy and support to:
Don't forget: for those of you unfamiliar with THE ENCHANTED SELF, please visit my website www.enchantedself.com for more background on THE ENCHANTED SELF
2) Katherine's Memory - Playing Elevator in the Closet
Katherine remarked: "My sister and I had so much fun when we were children. The two of us would play, "Elevator" for hours. It was a simple game that went this way: one of us would pretend to be the elevator operator. She would open the closet door and say going up or going down. Then the other one would walk into the closet. The door would be closed behind her. She would huddle on the floor in total darkness. A moment would pass and then she would respond to the voice outside saying, "This floor, coats, dresses, or Second floor, furniture, and cosmetics." Then out she would leap, laughing hysterically. This sequence would be repeated again and again. We were not at all frightened by the darkness, feeling totally at home in our homemade elevator."
What a lovely memory Katherine had, so full of heartwarming components. Katherine was able to bring back images of herself and her sister playing with enthusiasm, keeping busy laughing uproariously, and feeling safe.
3) Positive Memories - We All Have Them!
Do you realize that we all have special fond memories tucked away inside of us? Whether you come from a family that had many opportunities for pleasure and joy or whether you came from circumstances that were far from ideal, it doesn't matter. Somewhere, in you past you have experienced pleasure, joy, humor, and positive feelings of connection. My hunch is that there have been times when you felt that all was right with the world and whatever you were doing could go on forever. For Katherine when she began to talk about pleasant memories, this elevator memory came back to her, from early childhood. However, you may have a special memory that goes back to last year or maybe even this morning. That too qualifies as an enchanted memory.
Simply put an enchanted memory is one where positive rather than negative feelings are aroused as you go back to it. I call these memories Positive Fingerprints of the Mind because they are so clearly unique to you. We may both have gone to summer camp. While swimming in the lake was your fondest memory from that summer it may have been my most miserable.
4) Peanut Butter: We All Love It
Lots of memories, even from the very distant past, are charming and heartwarming. Here is a memory that many of us can resonate to: eating peanut butter sandwiches.
I was surprised and delighted to hear on public radio that in New York City there lurks a small restaurant devoted to the nostalgia and experience of peanut butter sandwiches. The two favorite at the restaurant are a peanut butter sandwich dripping with honey with sliced bananas inside, and a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with peanut butter. I thought as I listened to the report that this was such a charming idea for a restaurant. People can come together in one place where everyone is not only enjoying the food but also have a reverie into his or her own past as sandwiches are devoured.
I hope I gave you a nice review or introduction to The Enchanted Self. Please savor the two examples above and spend a little time coming up with your own delicious memories from the past. May they be as much fun as the imaginary elevator and taste as good as a fresh peanut butter sandwich!