I'm not sure what the history of "excuses" is, except to
know that a majority of the time excuses equal some sort of
self-dishonesty.
They're part of what we thought we "should do" vs. being a
"must do"! Excuses come from us not being able to take our
own "no's". They're what we say to people so that we "don't
hurt their feelings". Excuses are what we say so that others
don't hurt us. Excuses are part of what we're tolerating in
our life (that which draws out our energy and squashes it)!
Excuses come back to haunt us unless we look at them as
gifts from clients or friends or ourselves. Have you ever
received an excuse for "something" and thought Is that
person kidding with that excuse? Why didn't they just say
NO? OH!... I am doing the same thing to "so and so".
Say NO!!! Sometimes saying "NO" to someone means saying
"YES" to someone even more important YOU!
What can you do when you give someone a "no" that they don't
accept? Take the time to think about what type of answers
you can give and things you can do to protect your
boundaries so that you can raise your standards. Check out
these Top Ten Lists about boundaries. They are just
wonderful! "Things to say pleasantly when people attempt to
invade your boundaries" by Coach Diana Robinson
www.topten.org/public/BG/BG1.html and another wonderful Top
Ten by Coach Dennis Tesdell
www.topten.org/public/BN/BN1.html
Integrity Lesson
This month, write down all the excuses you hear yourself
giving others and giving yourself. Look for the patterns.
Are you not setting boundaries? Are you setting boundaries
and the person isn't listening? Are you setting boundaries
and you're not enforcing those boundaries? Or what other
patterns do you see.
And remember: Yes, No and Maybe are all complete
sentences!!!
About the Author
Maria Marsala,
Business & Life Coach-Consultant. Maria works with
successful individuals as they take their success to an
even higher level. Subscribe to "Helping You and Your
Business Grow" our free weekly online newsletter or
download our serenity cards at
http://www.CoachMaria.com/ebook/download.html