Sober From Clutter-Part 4
By: Janet L. Hall
" Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you
are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to
get to know who you are and what you want."
Sue Bender, quoted in The Feminine Face of God
Pain or sadness can stem from many factors and sources in
your life, and manifest in just as many ways, one of which
could be your clutter problem.
Do you take a dose of pain or sadness "medicine" by not
letting go of unused stuff or going out and becoming financial
stressed by making purchases you won't use?
What is your coping mechanism for your pain or sadness?
Your stuff? What you hoard? Why you're a pack rat? Why
you might overcompensate, overindulgence, shop 'til you
drop, be a QVC Junkie, an E-Commerce shopper, or an
Auction addict?
Your pain or sadness might stem from you or your family
having to endure great losses. Losses in your life can surely
make you hold tight to the stuff your familiar with, especially
if the loss was a loved one. To leave everything just as it
was, or to hold on to departed loved ones stuff will leave no
room for you to grow or to go forward with your life.
One simple way to keep your loved ones memories alive,
while not keeping all their stuff, is to create an altar that
houses the precious memories and select items. You can
create an altar on your dresser, a mantel, or a shelf.
What about loss from nature or manmade disasters: flood,
fire, earthquake, hurricane, war, and refugee? These types
of losses in your past probably help you appreciate the
things you do have and obtain. BUT it can also lead to
overcompensation, holding on to, pack ratting, just in case,
or a someday mentally. Be very careful when recovering
from a disaster, focusing on keeping balance, and finding
uses for all that you possess.
Pain or Sadness Exercise:
>>What pain or sadness are you carrying around on your
back?
>>Is your pain or sadness stemming from something that
occurred a month, year, five or ten years ago? Longer?
>>When are you going to release this pain, this sadness?
>>When was the last time you felt fulfilled, really happy,
without sadness or pain?
>>Can you see it?
>>What did it feel like?
>>What is missing from your life that you don't feel fulfilled
and you are using "stuff" as a substitute or an escape from
your suffering?
>>Is it possible that you mask your pain or sadness with
STUFF, to protect yourself?
>>Haven't you hurt or paid long enough?
>>When are you going to stop hurting and get some help?
All the piles, all the crammed rooms, stuffed closets,
overcrowded attic and basement, all your "stuff" might have
been yesterdays solutions to your pain or sadness but now
have become your problems today!
Eventually you will see that by buying or bringing more
"stuff" into your life or your children's life will only temporarily
solve your problems, or situations. A quick fix. And
eventually, you will have too much "stuff," too many piles.
This overspending and over buying can bring you several
more problems: debt and clutter, less space, and even add
to your pain or sadness. You haven't solved a thing. As a
matter of fact, you've made matters worse for yourself, and
possibly for others around you. One day you will have to
deal with these new problems and situations. Finding new
solutions. Hopefully healthy remedies.
When you begin clearing out your clutter you'll create a
vacuum and nature abhors a vacuum. But don't worry
because something or someone will soon rush in to take the
place of where your clutter use to reside. The form of
replacement wouldn't necessarily be more STUFF. It may
surprise you that someone or something (i.e. opportunities)
might come into your heart, your Spirit, or your life might be
filled with relief or happiness. Now you might have the ability
to pursue and accomplish what you'd really like to do or be,
now that you've made room.
Are you open to the idea of being happy? If you are able to
connect with your pain or sadness, and get it out, you'll be
able to break the chains, the unwanted habits of clutter.
Are you hurting yourself, your Spirit, and the world by
continually bringing things into your life that you don't need
or use? Basil the Great, bishop of Caesarea, stated around
A.D. 365:
"When someone steals a man's clothes we call him a thief.
Should we not give the same name to one who could clothe
the naked and does not? The bread in your cupboard
belongs to the hungry man; the coat hanging unused in your
closet belongs to the man who needs it; the shoes rotting in
your closet belong to the man who has not shoes."
Look around your home or office. Take a mental inventory
and see what you can donate to those in need or to non-
profit agencies in need.
It's okay if you're not ready to de-clutter. Just as the
alcoholic and drug addict, no one can make them change, or
make them stop their self-abuse. They have to have a deep
desire to stop, to take control of their lives, to overcome and
eliminate their negative behavior and take one day at a time
making positive changes in their life, so must you in dealing
with your clutter.
Get sober from clutter by taking it one day at a time or one
area at a time. If you fall back into your old patterns,
acknowledge the fall and get back on the wagon to being
sober from clutter. Slowly, one day at a time.
Dali Lamas' Tips to Making Changes:
So, how will you accomplish this? What will be your
approach?
In the book, The Art of Happiness, in which Dr. Cutler
interviews the Dali Lama about the process of change, he
indicates that they are six steps you need to do in order to
bring about change: education, conviction, determination,
action, and effort. "...you must exert the effort to establish
new habit patterns. This is the way that inner change and
transformation take place in all things, no matter what you
are trying to accomplish."
The Dali Lama goes on to say, "...start by developing a
strong willingness or wish to do it [what goal or action you
are directing your efforts towards]....generate great
enthusiasm. And, here, a sense of urgency is a key factor.
...It [sense of urgency] can give us tremendous energy.
...to generate commitment and enthusiasm to overcome
negative behaviors or states of mind...is to be constantly
aware of the destructive effects of the negative behavior.
...by making a steady effort, I think we can overcome any
form of negative conditioning and make positive changes in
our lives."
I know you can be stronger then your fear, your pain, or your
sadness. You can be stronger then your habitual spending,
hoarding, or saving by being determined, by carving out the
time, and by putting some effort into reasonable
expectations of getting organized.
Just like the alcoholic or drug addict, you are healing.
Healing needs to take place in the mind, body, and Spirit to
be effective. A big step towards your healing will depend on
you having the knowledge of what you can do by yourself
and the acceptance of the reality that you might need help.
God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.
Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr
~~~~~~~~~
For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard,
Janet L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at
http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many
organizational products for your office, home, and computer
at http://www.overhall.com/products.htm
Janet is a Professional Organizer, Certified Feng Shui
Practitioner, Speaker, and Author and can help you regain
control of your life, your time, your stuff, and your
environment.
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About the Author
For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard,
Janet L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at
http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many
organizational products for your office, home, and computer
at http://www.overhall.com/products.htm
Janet is a Professional Organizer, Certified Feng Shui
Practitioner, Speaker, and Author and can help you regain
control of your life, your time, your stuff, and your
environment.