Over the past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those wanting to attract and create their ideal relationship. I'll share the first five steps with you today. Read next week's newsletter for the next five steps.
1. Get complete with your past to break relationship patterns.
When you no longer carry the "baggage" about your past relationships and your childhood, you are emotionally free to be in your ideal relationship. When you're emotionally free, you are better able to:
recognize partners who are incompatible with you before you get involved;
naturally attract more suitable partners;
stop trying to resolve issues from old relationships in your current one;
transform all of your relationships to be clear and satisfying.
If you're ready to get complete with your past, take my free PatternTracker Quiz at
http://www.whatittakes.com/Quiz2/patterntracker.html. The quiz will help you identify and understand your patterns, making it less likely that you'll repeat them in the future.
2. Ask for what you want in any relationship.
It is a myth that people should know what you want. When you are able to ask for what you want, you become easier to be with, easier to delight, and therefore much more attractive. People see you as clear and straight-forward.
To learn how to ask for want you want in your relationships, read my article, "Ask Right and You May Receive," http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter40to49/newsletter42.shtml.
3. The more you want a relationship, have a laundry list, a timetable for when it should occur, the less likely you are to have it.
The only way to attract a fulfilling relationship is to have a fulfilling life. You get to have a fulfilling life with or without a partner, while becoming naturally attractive. When you are attractive in this way, you no longer need to look for your ideal partner - you will automatically attract him or her.
I challenge you to create a fulfilling life in every way. For ideas on how to enrich your life, read "Single and Happy," http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter80to89/newsletter85.shtml.
4. Don't try to change yourself to "fit" into a relationship.
You will not be able to attract your ideal partner by knowing what men/women want in a relationship and trying to provide it. If you know what you want and what you can give in a relationship, you will connect with a partner who is a natural fit for you. Look deep within yourself to find out what you want in a relationship and what you can give.
5. Assess communication in your relationships.
There are three questions to ask yourself regarding communication in a relationship, whether you are just dating someone, are in a new relationship or in an established one.
1) Can you talk to your partner honestly and openly about your feelings, needs and wants and can he or she hear you and respond?
2) Can the two of you make corrections in your relationship when necessary?
3) Do the two of you have more communication and problem solving than drama?
If your answer to these three is "yes," the two of you have the necessary beginning of building a wonderful relationship.
If you are answer is no, you need to consider stepping up communication. A really good relationship, satisfying to both partners, always has excellent communication as one of its cornerstones.
Browse my newsletter archives online for many articles on this topic: http://www.whatittakes.com/Archives.
These suggestions are your first steps for improving your ability to attract your ideal mate and build your ideal relationship. Next week, read the second half of my most popular personal development recommendations for attracting and sustaining a healthy, long-term relationship.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com
(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
About the Author
Having coined the phrase "relationship coach," Master Certified Coach Rinatta Paries works with singles to help them attract their ideal relationship, and helps couples create more love and fulfillment in their existing relationships. Visit her web site at www.WhatItTakes.com or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.