I think I'm attached to being comfortable!
Being comfortable: thinking I know what I'm doing,
where I'm going and that it's all under control. My,
how I can fool myself.
This realization hit me again about 10 days ago while
attending the NLP conference in Toronto. One of the
keynote presenters, Judith Delozier, brought up the idea
of The Hero's Journey in the context of leadership,
in particular self-leadership. I had heard the term before
and understood it to mean life's journey in which we
come face to face with who we are, our deepest fears and
desires, our weaknesses and our strengths. In other
words, getting uncomfortable.
In this Journey the Hero is YOU, and in my life, it is
ME. The hero has a job to do. This job your job, my
job is to be aware, trust and live in connection with
your unique greatness. Sounds simple, and in essence, I
believe it is simple. However, simple does not equal
easy. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone.
As I've grown, I've become clearer and clearer about my
journey (or I think I'm clearer). I believe my
journey is to teach and lead and coach others to
discover their own unique journey. I know this is true.
I can feel it in my bones, in my gut, my chest and
through my shoulders.
Still, for some reason I often resist. I resist owning
the fullness and potential power of my own journey.
Getting through barriers, blocks and obstacles requires
a journey to new and uncomfortable places of
introspection and self-awareness. It requires work and
being OK with not knowing. Thoughts and emotions of
uncertainty and doubt float through my mind and offer me
simple excuses to stop putting in the effort. These
patterns of distraction were clearly defined by the
Buddha who understood the workings of the human mind.
2500 years ago the Buddha identified five hindrances to
the clarity all heroes seek. These still affect us as
much today as any time in history:
1. Doubt - the plug puller of all effort
2. Craving - constantly dissatisfied and wanting
something other than what's in front of me
3. Aversion or hatred (the flip side of craving) -
pushing away from things I don't like
4. Laziness and sloth - slipping inwards, escaping
into sleep, inaction and simple couch potato life
(don't bother me with that Hero work)
5. Restlessness - running from one thing to another
just to fill my mind (give me control of the TV
remote and everything will be OK!).
Our job is to overcome these five hindrances.
In this Hero's Journey, the hero is not some god or
goddess. The hero is you and the hero is me. We are
simple human beings who seek to develop awareness of who
we are, what our strengths and gifts are, and the nature
of our purpose so we can live happy, fulfilling lives.
Along this journey we unconsciously get caught by these
distractions and diversions of restlessness, sloth,
aversion, craving and doubt.
This is where the power of understanding your purpose
comes in. The antidote to uncertainty and doubt is
found in recognizing your strengths acknowledging your
strengths. You, as your own hero, must uncover and
accept your core qualities, your natural gifts, your
purpose and your personal connection to something much
larger your Vision. Without a solid foundation of
self-understanding, you have no weapons with which to
conquer doubt and other challenges.
Please note You don't have to do this work. I don't
have to do this work. We don't have to examine our
lives to survive and be comfortable...unless you believe
Socrates who wrote, "The unexamined life is not worth
living."
I have found, to be successful in living my hero's
journey, it certainly helps to know I can summon,
conjure up and count on the strengths within me to help
me with my battles. It helps, but even knowing and
accepting my strengths doesn't mean it's easy. And you
know what? When I step back and look at my life
objectively, despite the doubts, my purpose is always
there to support me. I love what I do and my life is
rich. It has taken time and effort and movement through
lots of discomfort. Yet when I reflect on this journey I
am more content, knowing I am following my true path
even when I don't know where it will lead.
There is still a lot of work to do to keep from slipping
into my comfort zone. Knowing I am not alone and that
we are all on our own hero's journey helps me to battle
through my doubts and distractions
About the Author
Robert Knowlton is an Executive and Business Success Coach.
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