We all experience events: 24/7/365. Every day of our lives. In fact, events, or circumstances, are really all you have. It doesn't matter whether you are male or female, black or white, rich or poor, tall or short young or old, all you have are events. Events include the weather, the traffic, the economy, your manager, your company and your relatives: in short everything that you experience is an event of one kind or another. They are a given in this life we all lead.
The way that you deal with each event will inevitably produce an outcome. Now, do you always get the outcome you are looking for? I doubt it. If you do, you are either a very skillful or very lucky person. What everybody does get, however, is a result or an outcome from the actions that they take; hence the formula E x R O. In other words, the outcomes you get (O) will depend upon your reaction or response (R) to the events that you face (E).
I am not a mathematician, but I do know that one of the fundamental rules of algebra is that if you change one side of an equation, you have to change the other side in a similar way. So it is with the formula E x R O.
In other words, if you want to achieve better outcomes in any area of your life (O) given that events of life (E) are a constant, the only element you can change is your reaction or response (R) to those events.
The actions that you take will have their roots in the way that you are feeling at that time, thinking about and what you believe and value deep down. Jack Canfield uses an example of telling a delegate on a training course that they are the most stupid delegates he has ever worked with (an event in that delegate's life). The outcome for that delegate could be that they feel embarrassed and small if they believe Jack's comment, and their self-esteem - such as it is - might be damaged still further.
Another scenario is that the delegate concerned might take the view that Jack has picked on them safe in the knowledge that they can take this kind of remark and brush it off because they are comfortable in their own skin and besides, Jack knows that they are the delegate who can best cope with such a playful comment.
So, the event is the same but the outcome for the delegate is very different depending upon their reaction or response. Whether you react or respond to events or circumstances can be critical to the outcomes that you get in your life. If you react, the chances are that you will be letting your emotions drive you.
There are three features about emotions that need to be understood. Firstly, they happen real quick; sometimes in the blink of an eye or a heartbeat. Secondly, for good or ill they can be very powerful. Finally, they can be habitual. You might well have developed a pattern of behaviour when things happen to you.
By contrast, when you respond you exercise a more conscious choice. As Stephen Covey calls it, the ability to respond and exert your independent will by choosing the meaning that an event has for you.
This necessitates putting an appropriate amount of time in between the event and your action. This can be a few seconds, minutes or hours depending on the circumstances and use that time to think about how best to act to get the outcome you desire from that situation.
Is it really that easy? Yes it can be, but not always. But, following this formula will make you more resourceful and give you more control than letting your immediate emotions drive your actions.