You know it is January because more people are sad, mad, or bad than glad. There are many explanations for this behavior. One, is that the dark cold winter days and lack of sunlight lowers Serotonin levels in the brain causing a general malaise or funk, sort of like bears who just want to hibernate until warm weather beckons. Others believe that the holiday let down leaves people, well, let down, often disappointed and aware of their loss of a perfect holiday dream. For still others, the holidays were so wonderful that they have a post holiday melt down where nothing seems right. They miss their loved ones and little seems exciting. Then there are those who have gone away to play. There is a general “rule of thumb” that claims it takes as much time to readjust to normal life as the time you were on vacation. One week away, means one week of not feeling quite back to your usual routine. Two weeks away may take two weeks to get totally back to it.
My friend Jane is one of those people for whom change, even positive change means readjustment is difficult. After a wonderful time visiting her grown children and as she says “vegging out” she had the hardest time getting back to being a fully functioning human being. It was as if she was a piece of well-oiled machinery and all her screws had come loose. Tightening them again just seemed too hard to do.
Perhaps, the children are home from school. “Wonderful” you think. There's so much fun we can have together. But, the truth is you are ready for a semi-neat home again and a few moments of peace and quiet. Much loved men seem underfoot, and besides the you guys are more than ready to go back to work. The year-end fluctuating stock market has made some of you nuts. The office seems a place of stability and order. If you are a workingwoman, especially a working mom, you secretly wonder if you should just delete everything and start fresh.
Single, you may realize you miss family. Divorced, second or third marriage, blended families, all that scheduling and even hard times with ex's or memories of “what might have been.” The poet T. S. Eliot claims April is the cruelest month, but most of us in the mental health profession would bet on January as being the toughest.
For those for whom this down experience is not true, consider yourselves lucky. If all this doom and gloom seems self-serving and like a foreign concept, smile and get on with your New Year's resolutions. You can even feel a little prideful that you are not one of the pack. For the rest of you, know feeling a little blue is normal and that it will end.
Take some time for yourself, exercise, start your diet, curl up with a good book or a trashy novel. If you are wondering where to go for some extra help, be it psychological, medical, alternative or spiritual, you can even pick up or order Getting Sane Without Going Crazy. If you go directly to www.sanecrazy.com, I will personally inscribe the book for you or the person you want to give it to. Listen to your body, rest if that's what you need, or if you have been mush, get active. Get out, see a funny movie, hide away or visit close friends. Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and please think as positively as you can. January only comes once a year and then it is over.
Life is too hard to do alone,
Dr. D.
Dorree Lynn, PH.D.
About the Author
Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.