Why Are You Struggling?
I have been a master at struggling most of my life. My struggles were laced with fear, unworthiness, blame and a bunch of other ugly emotions. I believed it was the natural order for being human, even though I was unhappy. One day, someone very wise asked me; “Why are you struggling so much? Aren’t you tired and a little bored to boot?” For some reason it struck me that yes, I was tired with the whole thing and wanted to know something better in my life.
Struggle is unhealthy and draining to energy levels. I made a conscious choice to give up the struggle. It didn’t happen overnight but I started to notice profound changes in my life. I experienced more synchronicity, more enjoyment and a deeper connection to my creative self. I began to have more fun.
Life does not have to be a struggle. Everyone’s life, including yours and mine is not meant to be a struggle but a life lived in joy, harmony, radiant health and love. Why do we so often choose struggle over peace, harmony or even love? I believe, most of us are asleep at the wheel, and our emotions are driving our choices.
We make a decision about something every moment of our life. We choose what we will wear, eat, and a pyramid of other things throughout the day. We also choose how to think, feel, respond and even how to behave.
The problem is, we end up in struggle because of the choices we make. These choices are made because we see the world through our beliefs, attitudes, memories and expectations. In other words our choices are tainted with our past experiences and laced with emotions. One small perception or belief can hold us back from creating our dream life.
Humans are the only species that go out of their way to struggle. The rest of the species of creation just moseys along doing whatever it is they do. Take for example, the gorilla in the wild. When he gets up in the morning, he doesn’t start complaining to his mate about all of the struggling that lies ahead of him, how will he make it through the day, and where is dinner going to come from. Instead he just kisses the gorilla misses on her big flat nose, partakes in a little flea picking and ambles over to the favorite bush to catch the morning nibble before naptime.
OK, maybe we are not gorillas, but nature has much to teach us if we pay attention.
Humans even struggle just to keep the body alive. Each day, the body undergoes a variety of different processes that keep you alive and breathing. Digestion takes place without your input. There might be repair going on at the cellular level where you stubbed your toe last night, and a thousand of other things that have to be totally regulated to keep our bodies alive. The body does it all on it’s own without your help or knowledge, but, we still hold a belief that we need to drink a gallon of carrot juice each day, run a zillion miles and pop twenty different vitamin pills to stay alive. We are hypnotized into believing that the universe will gobble us up if we do not put in our allotted time struggling each day.
The universe totally supports you in the process of life, and even more when you give up the struggle. How do you think all of the stars in the universe exist? How do you think the sun rises everyday and sets each night? It is not with struggle, but through a natural rhythm of life. This life has been happening for millions of years.
If you are struggling in your life, then I guarantee the struggle you are experiencing is laced with emotion. Nothing is wrong with emotions, and they are wonderful gifts that come along with this human body. However, the emotions of guilt, shame, blame, remorse, regret, jealousy, fear and hatred are emotions that will ruin your life and keep you in a state of struggle. Why not gift yourself with love, compassion and even joy.
The choices we make and the events those decisions create, either produce struggle or harmony. How can you let go of the struggle? Easy. You first have to choose to do so. I mean make an honest to goodness conscious choice that you no longer desire to struggle. The real power lies in our choices. When you can consciously choose each moment, then you can start creating the peace, love and harmony you desire.
If you start looking at which emotions you are attached to, you will begin to see how those emotions are running your life. Do you blame others for what happens in your life, or are you ready to take the responsibility that everything is in your life because you have allowed it to be there? Taking responsibility is the most powerful step you can take to bring your life back into harmony and out of struggle. That means you can no longer play the victim or the abuser.
Fear is probably the biggest cause of struggle. We are so caught up in fear, that we don’t know whether we are afraid to die or afraid to live. We have fear of survival, fear of success, fear of failure and fear for just about everything you can imagine. What is at the root of your fear? Is it real or just an illusion? Most of our fears are not real.
Replace struggle with effort. It takes effort for our human journey. It takes effort to get up in the morning and choose to be happy. It takes effort to drive across town to deposit your check, and it takes effort to be the best husband, wife, mother, father or friend. The difference between struggle and effort is the emotion behind it. Effort is a choice. Effort is just effort and is not laced with emotions. It is the drive to do our best, to achieve, or to be happy and abundant. The effort is worth it in the end.
Everyday upon awakening, I make a conscious choice to be happy, healthy and abundant. Remember, you cannot expect results if you do not commit each day. If you plant seeds in the ground and you have one day of warm weather and then 15 days of cold weather, the seeds will not germinate. Your life works the same way.
Life is not meant to be a struggle. We are here to make known the unknown, to experience life fully, and live in peace, harmony and joy. Anything less than that should not be acceptable. It is always about choice. If you choose each moment well, you will find real freedom and a life free of struggle. If I make it sound easy, then that was my intent, for life is easy, if you allow it to be. Life always creates more life without struggle. Existence continues. No struggle. It just is.
Billie Washington is an international business and life coach who helps men and women discover their true self, what they want in life and how to create it. “One small Quantum of Action allows miracles to happen in your life,” For further information go to her website: www.qpcoaching.com or email Billie@qpcoaching.com.
About the Author
Billie Washington in an Certified Business & Life Coach helping men and women discover their true self, what they want in life and how to create it. For further information, please visit the website. www.qpcoaching.com.