Yin Yang is the ancient, Chinese symbol for balance. It depicts the strong attraction and complementary nature of opposites. Just as magnate and metal attract, while oil and water repel, we too are subject to these laws of nature in our relationships. For example, we have all met people for whom we feel an immediate affinity or for some unknown reason, an instant dislike. We are attracted or repelled by others instinctively. This intuitive feeling goes beyond physical attraction. In reality, what we are responding to is the natural chemistry, or lack there of, between temperament styles. Understanding temperament styles will not only have a positive impact on the way you see yourself, but it will also enhance your relationship with others. If you are single, it will provide you insight into selecting a compatible partner. If you are a parent, it can dramatically improve the way you raise your children. If you are a salesperson, this information will significantly enhance your sales effectiveness by enabling you to build trust and rapport quickly.
Hippocrates, the father of medicine, is credited with originating the basic theory of four temperament styles. He concluded that our behavior style was determined genetically at birth rather than from external influences such as astrology or birth order. Hippocrates identified the physiology of each of the four temperament styles and concluded that we are born with a combination of four genetic influences: Choleric (Worker), Sanguine (Talker), Phlegmatic (Watcher) and Melancholy (Thinker). According to Hippocrates, the extroverted Choleric (Worker) was short-tempered and ill natured, but had a dynamic desire for action! The extroverted Sanguine (Talker) was cheerful, outgoing and optimistic, but not very serious or organized. The introverted Phlegmatic (Watcher) was slow and sluggish, but could stay calm, cool and collected under pressure. The introverted Melancholy (Thinker) was deep, sad and depressive, but also a thoughtful, gifted and analytical genius.
It is important to note that we are born into our temperament style and that it is unrelated to race, gender, or age. Our personality is comprised of traits from all four styles but our primary and secondary styles will have the most noticeable influence. By reviewing the traits of the four temperament styles listed below, you will be able to determine your primary and secondary style. For more information on this subject, read my article; What is Your Temperament Style? http://www.johnboe.com/What%20is%20Your%20Temperament%20Style.pdf
The Choleric (Worker) is:
Extroverted – Determined – Demanding – Domineering – Controlling – Practical - Self-reliant – Decisive – Independent – Confident - Goal-oriented - Risk-taker –Aggressive – Insensitive – Impatient
The Sanguine (Talker) is:
Extroverted – Enthusiastic – Emotional –Sociable – Impulsive – Articulate – Optimistic – Persuasive - Self-absorbed – Generous – Egotistical – Charming – Unorganized – Playful - Personable
The Phlegmatic (Watcher) is:
Introverted – Accommodating – Harmonious – Agreeable – Indecisive – Uninvolved – Sympathetic – Undermining –Patient – Supportive – Stable – Possessive – Passive – Selfish – Bashful - Tolerant
The Melancholy (Thinker) is:
Introverted – Analytical – Thoughtful – Organized – Critical – Shy – Detailed – Pessimistic – Sensitive – Diplomatic – Economical – Loyal – Introspective – Private – Conscientious – Moody
Unfortunately, most people do not appreciate the value of temperament diversity in their relationships. Some people define a successful relationship as one where they have similar interests and much in common with their partner. Many make the fundamental mistake of believing that similarity is the key to compatibility.
The most common and natural attraction of opposites is between the introvert and extrovert. Like the attraction between Yin and Yang, introverts and extroverts recognize in one another the qualities and traits they require for balance. The two most naturally balanced relationships are between the Worker & Watcher styles or the Talker & Thinker styles. Due to their aggressive and controlling nature, the least compatible relationship is between two Workers. All relationship combinations can work if people understand the temperament dynamics and are willing to make adjustments as required. Whether it is a nation, a company, or a personal relationship, strength and balance are found in our complementary differences, not in our similarities.
About the Author
John Boe, based in Monterey, CA, is recognized as one of the nation’s top sales trainers and motivational speakers. He helps companies recruit, train, and motivate salespeople to achieve peak performance. John is a leading authority on body language and temperament styles. To view his online Video Demo or to have John Boe speak at your next event, visit http://www.johnboe.com or call (831) 375-3668.