by: Jean Tracy
Character is in crisis. Everyday your children see their sports heroes, movie stars, and music idols acting badly. How can you help your children become the people they were meant? As a busy parent, this article offers you an excellent method for building character in your children and bonding with them too.
“To educate a person in mind and not in morals is to educate a menace to society.”
-Theodore Roosevelt, U.S. President
Teddy Roosevelt hit the mark with his words. To educate a child in reading, writing, and arithmetic, and not about living is to raise a menace to society.
How do we as parents, teachers, and mentors help children build character? Below you will notice the five character-building goals to instill in your children. Using questions as practical tools is an easy and excellent way to promote those goals and build character too.
Imagine that a boy named Harold recently moved into your neighborhood. He constantly causes trouble. The school principal just sent him home with a note addressed to his parents about his acting out in class. You and your child discuss Harold’s problems. You center your discussion on the five key goals listed below. To instill each goal, ask your child the following practical questions:
Goal 1: Empathy-Being aware of and caring about others’ feelings.
Question: If you were Harold, how would you feel?
Goal 2: Role Taking-Putting oneself into another's shoes and understanding where they are coming from.
Question: What do you think Harold wanted by acting out in class?
Goal 3: Social Awareness-Being aware of other’s opinions, their needs, their likes, and dislikes.
Question: If you were a classmate of Harold’s, what might you think of Harold?
Goal 4: Self-Reflection-Examining our own thoughts, feelings, and, behaviors.
Question: Have you ever misbehaved in class? How did you feel about yourself?
Goal 5: Internalizing Good Advice-Taking to heart the advice your child gives to others and following it when he or she needs it.
Question: If you were giving good advice to Harold, what would you tell him?
Congratulations! By asking the above questions, you have just strengthened your child’s character because you have awakened your child’s thoughtful mind and caring heart.
We’ve examined what goals to instill and what questions to ask. Let's learn where to build character by asking the above questions in the following situations:
Now, it’s time to take action. If you’re like most busy parents just remember the questions and ask them often. Get your children to think and to feel wisely. By using these tools now and you will be building character and a better society for us all.